A HypnoBirthing childbirth educator and the founder of Serene Births, Mithra Hari is a doting mother to her 3.5yrs old daughter Sia. She says, “Being a birth nerd since childhood, post the events that lead to my childbirth becoming a birth worker was a natural succession. Supporting families during their pregnancy and birth has given me joy and satisfaction beyond words.” Mithra also volunteers with the Bangalore Birth Network as a counsellor.
1. Mithra, let’s start at how your pregnancy and birth went.
I wanted to cross the bridge when I got to it so breastfeeding was not something that I gave a thought about. I believed it to be a very natural and easy process. During pregnancy, my focus was on birth as I was secretly anxious about the whole process due to the conditioning I received around birth stories. I had a medicated vaginal birth with an epidural and it was nothing less than a traumatic experience. I don’t want to get into the details, but you can read it here.
2. I am sorry for the experience you had. The system still has a long way to go in respect to women receiving respectful care. So, was breastfeeding initiated immediately?
There was no immediate initiation of skin to skin and breastfeeding. But I breastfed Sia within the first hour of her birth. She was handed over to me after being passed around in the excited hands of relatives, checkups, and a formula feed (because it was apparently required).
I cannot thank my stars enough for the fact that she latched on like a pro when I offered my breasts. Strangely, I knew it in my gut that my baby would latch on immediately with no issues what so ever. But this was only on the left.
3. What happened on the right side?
Despite her first feed being formula, the doctors and nurses seemed supportive of breastfeeding. However, none of them really taught me about the easier positions in which I could nurse her. Since the nipple on the right was a little flat, getting her to latch on it was a little challenging. I would struggle with the placement of my hands and legs as I nursed until I figured it out myself soon after.
4. How important do you think a breastfeeding class is for women when they are pregnant?
In the initial days, I had absolutely no clue why my baby wanted to nurse the whole day. I knew nothing about cluster feeds or growth spurts and constantly doubted my supply. I was extremely grateful to find out through a breastfeeding relative about how cluster feeds were a part of normal newborn behavior.
The other thing I wish I knew is the lying down position to nurse. To this day, it angers me. Absolutely no one suggested this natural, comfortable, and easy position. Until I read on the internet about it being a safe position. These are the reasons I wish I took a breastfeeding class. It should be compulsory at hospitals for every pregnant to take a breastfeeding class. It will save them from a lot of unnecessary stress and worry.
5. I agree. How did your brush with nursing in public (NIP) go?
NIP for us started with an event that was hosted by the Facebook group Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). Participating in that event normalised NIP for me as well as my family.
Post that event, I have nursed in public comfortably many times and still do when Sia demands her ‘mommo’, although it has reduced considerably now.
6. At 3.5 years, Sia is thoroughly enjoying her beautiful journey. How is her mommy firefighting the unsolicited advices to wean?
Well, it is not just Sia enjoying our beautiful journey. Breastfeeding an older child is considered abnormal and a taboo in our society. Unfortunately, most mothers succumb to societal norms and wean their kids.
I, however, remain headstrong in my vision to let my daughter self-wean and try to remain unaffected by any hostility that comes my way. I plan to let her self-wean and in fact tear up each time the thought crosses my mind.
The bonding, closeness, and warmth it has given me are precious. I hope to cherish it throughout my life. I am getting a tattoo done to celebrate our breastfeeding journey.
7. Goes without saying that a strong support system makes a huge difference.
My support system through this journey is my husband and mother who both have strong faith in me regarding the decisions I take towards the well-being of my child. They even participated with me in breastfeeding promotion events to champion the cause.
Another person worthy of mention is Sneha Dutta Rohra, a lactation counselor who helped me sail through the constant night feedings. Her explanations on how a child needs nutrition and connection even at nights kept me going. I love how she motivates parents to follow a child-led approach. My discussions with her have led to a lot of positivity in our lives. I met her on this wonderful support group called Snugbub and I’m ever grateful to be a part of it.
8. As a childbirth educator, you have definitely seen a lot of women from pregnancy up until they give birth. Why do you think they struggle with breastfeeding?
During my sessions, I miss no chance to educate pregnant mothers and new mothers about the basics of breastfeeding. I also very specifically inform them about the role of a lactation counselor and the miracle workers they are.
I think new mothers have a certain disconnect from their bodies; hence a blockage of their maternal instincts. Women are body shamed and usually taught to doubt their capabilities; amidst the other demeaning attitudes shown towards them. Topics revolving around bodily function or bodily fluids are mostly shushed. This leads to very bad outcomes in both birth and breastfeeding.
