A software engineer by profession and a passionate foodie at heart, Sneha Sindhia Mukkamala also keeps herself busy exploring cooking, baking, DIY activities and Art. Mother to 3.5yr old Moksha and wife to her amazing husband Aditya, Sneha adds photography and dance to her passions. Having been a moderator on one of the largest support group for Breastfeeding (1lakh+ members), Sneha went on to create Nourishing Milky Moms (NMM) with her two breastfeeding enthusiast moms. Through NMM, they aim to provide a space that supports and encourages more moms to breastfeed. And while we are left wondering how she manages all of this in 24 hours, Sneha has also worked with some NGOs for the development of marginalized women and underprivileged children and is a moderator for Humankind Global (previously Caremongers India), a support group on Facebook, for the community and from the community.
1. Phew, Sneha that’s a lot of amazing work you did and continue to do with a full-time job! Thank you for agreeing to share your breastfeeding journey. Let’s hear it right from the start.
I always thought breastfeeding was the most natural process and did not ever attempt to read about it during pregnancy. No doctor or prenatal classes spoke about it either.
I was full term and did not experience any contractions and my gynaecologist wanted to induce on my due date. I was induced twice and my labour lasted for almost 20hrs with extreme pain. They planned for a C-section as I did not make much progress after almost 15hours. I was determined to birth naturally and I refused to take epidurals. With the progress I made in the last 5hrs, I was pushing myself to do more. Almost 20hours without any solid food to eat, I was too tired to push. But once I was taken to the labour room, my determination grew stronger. I had a vaginal birth and in the next ten minutes, I breastfed her while I was being stitched up. The hospital staff were quite supportive of breastfeeding and encouraged me to breastfeed her.
When she latched for the very first time, it felt like she just knew to latch and I just had to hold her close to me.
2. That’s a beautiful start. Did the journey continue to be uneventful?
Far from uneventful. My daughter had jaundice and was under phototherapy and away from me. Every time she cried, I wept. For days. It only got worse.
With jaundice and extreme weight loss, the paediatrician mentioned that I might not be making enough milk. He said she might need formula. My heart sank. The Lactation Consultant (LC) in the hospital checked our latch and said it was fine. I did not want to give her a drop of formula. She also said I am making enough milk by squeezing my nipples. I changed my paediatrician and got a lot of incorrect advice of feeding cow milk to my baby. Thankfully, I knew it was not the right thing to do. I again went to a different paediatrician and this doctor was supposed to be extremely breastfeeding friendly. But he also suggested that she might need some supplements as her weight gain was very poor. I was disheartened. I did not want to give her formula.
3. Did you consider revisiting the LC?
I met another Lactation Consultant –Sister Ruth. She is like an angel to me. She saw our latch and told me it was shallow and baby was not able to transfer milk efficiently. We worked on our latch for the entire day. The day I wanted to consult her, I had a high fever and I collapsed at the reception counter. I was given some medicine for my fever and she worked on my latch while I was fast asleep. A nurse held the baby and sometimes my husband held the baby. I was not in a position to sit and feed her. Once I was a little better, she made me sit and showed me how I need to keep pushing the baby to latch deep. I owe her this journey. She suggested I need to pump until the latch is perfect.
So there started the most exhausting part of my breastfeeding journey.
4. Go on.
I had to feed every two hours. So, I would wake up 30mins before to pump while the baby is asleep. Then, I would latch her and she would stay latched for 40-45mins. And after that, she was fed the expressed milk. Then wash the pump and sterilize it. By the time this cycle is completed, it would be close to 1.5hrs. Most times my mom fed the expressed milk through pallada. Yet, changing her nappies and putting her to sleep would take about 20mins. I would just close my eyes and my alarm would ring in the next 10minutes. It was time for the next feed.
I was exhausted and sleep deprived. My energy levels dropped and I wanted to give up. I kept pushing myself each day that let me do it for one more day. Her latch got better as we practiced for 1.5 months. I started to feed her directly and dropped my pump. Her weight gain was good at 3 months. With all these struggles, I was just hoping I can feed her for six months. So, she was exclusively breastfed for six months without a drop of formula.
5. Kudos for your determination and being strong willed. During the initial period, you also suffered from postpartum depression (PPD). How did you overcome it?
Just one week post birth, I had severe PPD. I had no knowledge about PPD then. I was extremely sad and I was always afraid of harming my own child. The thoughts of harming her made me weep and impatient. My PPD only made me blame myself for my inability to breastfeed. I would wake up all of a sudden from sleep and would check if she is breathing. It was extremely difficult.
I felt something was wrong with me and I was not being normal. As our breastfeeding journey got better and the more I latched her, it helped me overcome depression. I realized I was away from my phone for a long time for many days. I started engaging on forums online and read more about PPD. It seemed like a temporary phase and I would be able to overcome it. I did change my daily routine a bit and identified a pattern on what made me feel better.
6. It has been a difficult ride. Who and how did your support system play a role?
There were days when she fed for 2hours straight. And then, started the question. Is the milk enough? Why is she feeding for long hours? I read about Cluster feeding and I sailed through those sessions half asleep, and let her feed for hours. My nipples were getting sore and this only made it worse. I started getting aversions but I held on.
My mother, my aunt and my husband supported me a lot through these difficult days. Burping her, changing her nappies most of the times and staying awake to let me get some sleep only made it possible for me to get over this. My mother fed the pumped milk through pallada and sometimes even sterilized my pump for me. But this was only the beginning.
7. The myths around breastfeeding only made it worse for you. Would you like to help our readers understand those myths?
There are lot of myths around breastfeeding. I was told that I had to consume lot of galactagogues to make enough milk for the baby. If the baby is crying immediately after a feed, the child is not full. I was given extremely bland food for almost 6 months that I did not feel like eating anymore. I was asked not to take a shower before feeding the baby. It was so hard to do anything at all. I then started reading about breastfeeding to know, how the food I eat would affect the baby. I realized pretty late that I need not eat bland food. It was almost when we started her weaning journey, that I got back to normal food. I started reading so much about the benefits of breastfeeding that I was determined to breastfeed for a minimum of two years.
8. Once you re-started work, how did you ensure she was getting her drink?
I went back to work when she was 9months old. So, I had to start pumping again – one thing I hated the most. A month before my joining date, I started pumping when she was asleep to build a stash. As she fed round the clock, I had to pump multiple times in the night to build the stash.
It takes time for the pump to respond to our body and initially I could pump only 20-30ml in a session. Slowly it increased drop by drop, and I pumped about 80ml. The early morning session at 1:30am and 4:30am gave me 100-120ml per session. When I started working, my commute time from home to office, one way, was almost 2hrs.
I left home at 8am with my pump and ice packs in an insulated bag. The pumping sessions were every 3hrs at work. I had to leave 500ml for the 11 hours I was away. She drank 30-45ml per hour. My husband would drop the expressed milk packs with my mom, who would feed the same to my child in my absence. I felt exhausted even before my day started at work – chores, getting my pumping bag ready and riding for 25kms for almost 2hours . This kept going for a week.
9. Sounds exhausting. What happened after a week?
I was shifted to the client location, which was a PSU bank. There was no place to pump. Every room had a CCTV and there was no privacy. I skipped one session of pumping and when I was close to the second session, I was completely engorged and my breasts were hurting. The excruciating pain and thought of what would my daughter drink tomorrow led me to tears. I hand expressed some milk in the washroom to get some relief. But I collected no milk. I did not want to do it in the washroom. Yet another hurdle in my breastfeeding journey.
10. Where did you pump?
The next day I went to a mall nearby and asked them for a feeding room. I was directed to the diaper changing station in the toilet. There was no feeding room in a mall that had the most exclusive brands. I then went to a baby shop and asked them for a feeding room. They did not have one either. So I pumped in the trial room of that shop sitting on the floor without any ventilation. Since then I started pumping in different trial rooms of that mall. I would run from one store to another on days that the trial rooms were occupied or had a long queue waiting.
The days when I couldn’t find a room, I went to a Gurudwara nearby. That was a 30mins to and fro walk in the scorching heat. I was determined and managed to give her only breastmilk for a year. The day she turned one, I dropped that pump and I have not looked at it since then. My husband supported me by washing the pump and the bottles, sterilizing them and keeping my pump bag ready for the next day. He knew I was stressed and he emotionally supported me and motivated me to cross many hurdles. My mother, who always looked after my daughter when I was at work, gave me the mental peace and much needed support.
11. You are so strong and truly inspiring. Of course, post the hiccups, I am sure people around weren’t supportive about nursing to term.
Past infancy, I have been questioned about my choice of breastfeeding. I wanted her to decide when she wants to stop; respect her choice and provide this elixir until we both are comfortable. I educated them on the benefits of breastfeeding toddlers.
This pandemic has been so stressful. I believe breastmilk helped her deal with it in the year that went by. Breastmilk makes antibodies for any virus the mother contacts. And that was my protective shield for her. My daughter has self weaned when she was 39months. I am glad that I could breastfeed her until she outgrew the need for it and did not force her to wean.
12. Tell us about your nationally recognized campaign.
The more I read about the benefits of breastfeeding, the desire to breastfeed to term got stronger. During the course, I have become the biggest advocate of breastfeeding. I keep educating friends who are pregnant about the benefits of breastfeeding and debunking the myths around it. I was a peer counsellor and then a moderator on one of the breastfeeding support groups on Facebook. During that period, I led a campaign titled “#freedomtonurse” in Bengaluru to normalize nursing in public.
There has been a lot of instances where nursing mothers are insulted and ill treated for nursing in public. I have nursed my daughter at airports,flights,trains,restaurants, parks and every place I can think of. A mother and child should nurse wherever they feel comfortable. They shouldn’t be directed to a washroom for a feed. This campaign was to raise awareness and normalize nursing in public. We received recognition from the Ministry of Women and Children in India.
