An aspiring free spirit, an eternal learner, partner to Naveen and mother to 4 year old Neela, Anagha Narasimhan is a Certified Lactation Educator Counsellor. She is hoping to be a birth worker someday and constantly trying to be a better parent & person.
Ardent fan of music across all genres. She enjoys Metallica just as much as MS Subbalakshmi. Loves medical mysteries and medico-drama series (totally made that word up, she thinks :D). Loves reading, mostly fiction with some fantasy and a teeny bit of non-fiction thrown in.
1. What were your initial thoughts about breastfeeding even before you got pregnant?
The beginning of our breastfeeding journey was shaky because I presumed it would just be a natural continuation of pregnancy and birth, which it wasn’t. I had seen a cousin I’m very close to, breastfeed with very few challenges hence assumed it would be the same for me.
2. Lot of people are unaware that the kind of pregnancy and birth you have can have an effect on breastfeeding. Let’s start there.
I got pregnant after some help from pills and hormonal shots. We tried conceiving naturally for about a year and a half, but in vain. I have a history of PCOD and hence, needed assistance. I was in my late twenties and my husband in his mid-thirties when we were decided, without any doubt that we wanted to try for a child.
There was a lot on residual anxiety in me around this time, because for a few years by then, I had been obese with insulin resistance due to PCOD. One doctor had even said that unless I lost weight, I wouldn’t get pregnant and nobody would be able to help me.
The reason I mention all that is because, looking back, I realise things could’ve gone wrong in any or all directions, with respect to breastfeeding, among other things.
Having experienced and studied breastfeeding and through my close interaction with child birth educator friends, I now realise how important it is to learn about the birthing process and how it can affect breastfeeding; when pregnant.
3. Did you do any preparation for breastfeeding?
I didn’t attend nor look for breastfeeding classes while pregnant. One more reason, and perhaps the foremost was that I didn’t know breastfeeding classes are a thing. I’d see posters for antenatal child birth classes in passing at hospitals but never paid much attention to them.
When we realised we were expecting I put all my energies into researching and focusing on sustaining the pregnancy till term and (fingers crossed) come out of it unscathed and with a healthy baby. I was very keen on birthing vaginally, but, knew that was a long shot or impossible, even.
4. Go on.
Come 36 weeks into my role as an oven with a very lively bun baking inside, I had moved to Bangalore for the birth and Naveen had returned to Delhi (where we were living, at that time) just a few days earlier.
I was hoping to go one more week before deciding one way or the other about the birth because of Gestational Diabetes and hypertension, when at 1:50 AM I felt the water breaking. We went to the clinic where I was to birth a couple of hours after and between trying to rouse the husband and worry about whether the baby was strong enough to enter the world this early, Neela was born vaginally 10 hours after the gush of fluids.
5. Can actually imagine the tension in the air and minds till Neela was safely out. Did breastfeeding begin immediately?
I actually don’t remember our first attempt to nurse but she was given artificial breast milk for fear of hypoglycaemia. I think I first attempted to latch her on about an hour or two after birth. What I remember, is being encouraged to put her to the breast every 1.5 hours.
She developed jaundice on day 2 that got worse by day 4 so we spent those days by the phototherapy cradle, trying to breastfeed her, not knowing if she was getting enough, and a little disappointed at having to give her artificial breast milk.
6. You did what was best at that time. How was it after you got home?
We came home on Day 5 and that day and the next went by in 2 hour intervals, with me trying to wake a very, very, sleepy baby who wouldn’t budge. We went back to the paediatrician on Day 6 panicking and came back with instructions on how to wake her and feed her every 2 hours no matter what. This time, with the additional goal of making her pee 6 times and poop 3 times at least.
We survived the first two weeks and after she regained her birth weight, things got better. A few parenting communities I’d become a part of soon after birthing, played a huge role in keeping me going when I’d doubt myself. Everything was smooth until she was about 2 years and 6 months old.
7. What happened then?
It was around this time that night nursing was getting to me and aversions started getting worse. This was also around the time that she’d had her second big speech leap so weaning was out of the question. We attempted night weaning but gave up in 2 nights because breastfeeding her back to sleep was soooo much easier.
Friends and fellow mums I’d met through the group shared their experiences and links for reading and Naveen, who has always been an equal parent, helped in whatever way he could, short of offering to nurse her himself, and I coped.
Some aversions were easier and some were worse. I still continue to face strong aversions around my menstrual cycle but thankfully, she now nurses only 2-3 times a day and unlatches when I say it’s getting difficult.
8. How long have you been nursing? Any tips on how you handled your aversions over the years?
Neela, Naveen and I have been on our breastfeeding journey for almost 4 years now! Hopefully, I’ll be able to let her stop when she’s ready, which isn’t anytime soon by the looks of it. Her day starts with drinking ‘pow’ – her name for breast milk; and more often than not ends with it before she sleeps.
What has helped with aversions is less guilt about taking time out for me. 30 minutes or an hour, in intervals or at a stretch away from Neela, physically, because let’s face it, we can never be mentally away from our babies, can do wonders when I’m feeling touched out.
Talking about it with Naveen and making an effort to consciously reconnect as partners and not just co-parents has helped too. We had a phase that lasted until a few months ago where our conversations and actions were all about our child and rarely about us both. It can get very overwhelming to be seen only as a parent and not as all the many other things one continues to be from before becoming a parent.
9. Support systems play an important role in breastfeeding journeys. How was it for you?
My biggest support system has been my spouse who stood by me and my breastfeeding decisions without any questions. When he did have a question, he was willing to read up and research and hear my point of view. I still remember the early post-partum days when before and after every feed, I’d get terribly thirsty and he’d be there next to me with a glass of water ready. The nights that were too overwhelming for me, he’d wear her in a carrier and rock her to sleep.
For shielding me from remarks about nursing beyond a year, like a silent but strong support system that I could completely rely on without having to always shoulder the responsibility to stand up for myself and our baby, every time such remarks came our way.
My mum, aunt and sister for letting me explore parenting by myself but always being present to guide me when I needed help. While there were times (very few) when my mum said she’d get used to nursing and won’t stop, she heard me and let me decide when to stop.
The Internet: for being such a treasure trove of helpful (and unhelpful!) information; the collective wisdom of parents everywhere and their shared experiences. It is important to talk about breastfeeding and to talk about it without reservations.
10. You had been an admin on the largest breastfeeding support group on Facebook. Tell us about your journey from there to becoming a Certified Lactation Specialist.
A big part of what I am today is because of Neela coming into our lives. My quest to do something I’m passionate about and pursue it as a career ended and at the same time opened up so many avenues when I decided to become a certified lactation counsellor. For the many lessons she continues to teach us and for every nursing session, every morning and almost every night. I know this will come to an end and I will find other ways to support her, she will teach me herself but not yet ☺
Being part of the Facebook support group and meeting fellow breastfeeding mums who are lactation professionals themselves gave the added motivation to pursue this as a career.
If there is one thing I would like expectant parents to know, it is that preparing for your breastfeeding journey is just as important as preparing for the birth. They both go hand in hand.
