A limitless bond of breastfeeding!: Breastfeeding Journey
Chetana Ajit is a La Leche League Leader and a Certified Lactation Educator Counselor. She has two children- Disha is 7 years and recently self-weaned. Read about Chetana and Disha’s breastfeeding journey here. Tamia was adopted when she was 5 months old. She is 2.5 years now and their nursing relationship is going strong. In her spare time, Chetana helps out as an admin in Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) Facebook group. 1. Chetana, you have a heart of gold. It is not easy to adopt a baby and consider breastfeeding. How did you prepare yourself? My experiences of breastfeeding my older daughter Disha, set me on a new path. After spending six years working in a corporate as an engineer, Disha’s birth, made me passionate about advocating for gentle, natural childbirth. As an extension, I am also an advocate for ecological breastfeeding (exclusive breastfeeding for at least 6 months) and natural term weaning. I am glad to have gone down this route as it prepared me to welcome my second daughter into our family, like nothing else would have. Before Tamia came into our lives, I was formally and informally helping mothers with any challenges they faced while breastfeeding. A big part of this was the BSIM group. Spending a considerable amount of time answering queries and learning about different situations that mothers and babies can overcome left me feeling like I was doing something worthwhile. Being a part of BSIM also helped me learn more about breastfeeding an adopted baby. So when Tamia came home, I was ready. 2. This is truly amazing! We have read about re-lactation but is it really possible? The anatomy of the female human is designed in such a wondrous way. The mammary glands can start breast milk production from adequate and continued stimulation. While pregnancy and childbirth prepares the body for breastfeeding, there are several induced lactation and re-lactation protocols available to help mothers breastfeed without giving birth. These are especially helpful for mothers who are interested in adoptive breastfeeding. Be it a newborn or a two year old toddler, mothers have been able to successfully breastfeed and produce milk. Most babies and toddlers can be coaxed to accept the breast. Depending on the baby’s temperament and personality- some take to breastfeeding faster than others. 3. What was Tamia’s diet during the initial few months? We adopted Tamia when she was almost 5 months old. Going from a small hospital in Tamia (her namesake village in Madhya Pradesh) where she was first treated, to the District Hospital in Chhindwara where she finally started getting some much needed nourishment. She was wet nursed by mothers in the hospital as and when the nurses could take her to the maternity ward. At the children’s home where she stayed most of the first few months, she was given diluted cow’s milk and sometimes formula. 4. You must have been ecstatic on her first latch! Tell us about it and how you eliminated formula completely. Tamia came home with us on the 21st of March 2015. She had an ongoing eye infection, cough and cold, probably made severe because of her compromised nutrition. I could not help but think about how much breast milk would help her at this time. I have always wanted to nurse my adopted baby. With the lowest of expectations, but a flame of hope and a fluttering stomach, I used a nipple shield and dropped formula from a bottle into it. She latched on and suckled for almost 15 mins! What may have helped is the memory of being wet nursed. I was delighted that things were working out so well for us. Tamia was breastfeeding like a pro. We did a lot of skin-to-skin which helped us bond and helped Tamia get more breastmilk. Although I had a double electric pump with me and I did try pumping many times, I could not keep at it in a sustained manner. We are a nuclear family and taking care of a child and a baby did not leave me enough time for pumping. Over time, I reduced the amount of formula she was getting through the lactation aid and was able to wean her off formula at about 10 months. After that she was on breastmilk and solids. 5. Disha, your older daughter, was nursing when Tamia came home. How did you manage attending to both their needs? Disha was 5 years old when Tamia came home. While I was making milk as Disha was nursing, my body was producing enough milk for one child who did not depend as much on breast milk for nutrition. Tamia, being a baby, needed more breastmilk as that was her primary source of nutrition. I had to re-lactate to increase my supply. I followed simple steps- increased breast simulation- nursing Tamia after supplementing her, breast massage, skin-to-skin and using the homemade lactation aid. I also consumed galactagogues to aid my efforts to re-lactate. In my case, as I was already lactating, so in the strictest sense, it was increasing supply and not re-lactation. If a mother who was previously breastfeeding had stopped nursing and making milk wanted to start milk production, then it is called as re-lactation. We tandem nursed for almost two years as Disha was not ready to wean yet and Tamia was already with us. It was mostly manageable as Disha’s needs were not as demanding as time passed by. The boundaries I set for Disha helped me not feel overwhelmed and meet both my children’s needs. 6. Sometimes, your work or personal issues demands for you to be away from your children. How do they manage when you’re away for longer periods? Did you think of weaning your child since some situations are unavoidable? As with Disha, we want Tamia also to self-wean. As with many long term nursing relationships, we have had our fair share of challenges. Last year I attended a La Leche League conference in
“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”: Breastfeeding Journey
Rhucha Konkar started her career with a corporate job. A few years into it and she realized her passion for teaching. She is currently a teacher by profession and teaches Business in an International school. Her profession not only gives her a platform to connect with children but also to re-live her childhood. They had their son after 3 years of marriage. 1. Tell us about your breastfeeding experience post-delivery, in the hospital. I always associated child birth with breastfeeding. I did not know about latching issues, sore nipples or less supply. You may call it ignorance or being too optimistic. Aarav popped out 18 days prior to my delivery date. He was delivered via c-section and I took time to regain my consciousness post the operation. But I remember what my mother said, “I saw the yellowish white fluid (colostrum) coming in and the nurse complimented her that your daughter has a good supply”. On the third day, my feeding gown was completely wet. My breasts were engorged and leaking. Since I did not read up a lot about breastfeeding and post-natal care, I was clueless about what to do. When the doctor visited, I asked her and she exclaimed, “Feed your baby, now!” In fact, I was glad to know that my son was the only one in the nursing home (born on 30th Nov) who was not given formula at all during his hospital stay. 2. The beginning, in most cases, is what is difficult – the latch. Did you get it right in the first go? The start was nothing that I had expected and was told. I had a lot of trouble latching him on. It was extremely painful because he was unable to open his mouth widely. I was clueless about what exactly was going wrong. I asked my friends about their breast feeding experiences and everyone expressed it to be the most beautiful experience. So, why was it not beautiful for me? While a few friends suggested different breastfeeding positions, some suggested using a nipple shield. I watched YouTube videos and even met a Lactation Counsellor (LC), but all in vain. 3. Was there an existing condition? What exactly was causing a poor latch? I did not see Aarav’s post-natal report. The paediatrician had informed my husband about his tongue tie. I was too busy enjoying the post-delivery food, cleaning his pee and poop and adoring his cute face. Two weeks later, after my husband thought I had settled in, he broke the news to me. I was shocked and shattered. Suddenly a rush of questions engulfed my head – Why my son? This was why our breastfeeding journey was not beautiful! Due to the tongue tie, he would latch onto the nipple, and chew it causing severe pain. Breastfeeding under these circumstances was anything but pleasurable or satisfying and caused a lot of disappointment, sadness and guilt in my mind. Every time, he cried, I dreaded the nursing time and wished if he could just sleep for some more time. As time passed, we went from bad to worse. The moment he latched, the pain was so excruciating that I used to feel giddy. I used to bang my legs on the bed in pain and grind my teeth to get done with the feed. My mother couldn’t see me in pain and adviced me to get the nipple shield which unfortunately did not help much. Also, I was insistent on direct nursing. This went on for six months and I was slowly getting accustomed to the pain. 4. I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Were you able to get the latch fixed? We decided to go for the surgery when Aarav was 9 months. He was taking solids along with breast milk by then. It was mandatory to stay empty stomach for the surgery, I ensured that he ate properly the previous night and fed him to sleep. I was told to nurse immediately as he regained his consciousness. Post-surgery, one day, while nursing I suddenly felt minimal pain. Those delicate lips, my wet breast and me in tears! It was magical! That was our Eureka moment! We are still going strong at 17 months. Post tongue tie surgery, breastfeeding has added more value to my life than before. 5. A baby’s nutrition for the first year comes from breastmilk. You joined work when your baby turned 6 months? How did you manage? I joined work when my son was 6 months old. I used to pump immediately after reaching home and store milk for the next day. I continued with this until my son was a year old. After his first birthday, I nurse him on demand after I am back from work. He still takes three feeds at night. In fact, I call my son as a mini alarm clock. It is indeed exhausting because my day starts pretty early, but the joy we both get out of this process is so pure. My nanny also mentioned that there is a twinkle in his eyes around the time I arrive, and my heart melts. 6. How is your experience with nursing in public (NIP)? I had my own inhibitions being a first time mom. I used to carry a stole or sit behind the driver’s seat so that my act goes unnoticed. With time, I realized there is nothing to be ashamed about and that there is nothing more pure than satisfying the needs of your little one and nourishing him. Our NIP journey began when I had gone to meet a friend when Aarav turned 4 months. I had to nurse him in the cab and since then he associates every cab journey with nursing time. I have nursed in a hospital, cab, aircraft, and park and in the temple premises too. 7. Lot of mothers do not get the required support from their own family. How has your support system been? I
A beautiful journey that began 5 years back!: Breastfeeding Journey
Adhunika Prakash, the founder of Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM), is a mother of two, a babywearing and cloth diapering enthusiast and a firm believer of attachment and gentle parenting. She completed her Masters in Business Administration (MBA) from Symbiosis in the year 2007 and was working in the IT sector until she got pregnant with her first. Within a year of her first’s birth, BSIM was born. Now, a huge portion of her time is spent managing BSIM and its affiliated activities. 1. Adhunika, your breastfeeding journey began 5 years ago. How was it for you back then? Yes, my breastfeeding journey began about 5 years ago when my son was born. I had read about the importance of breastfeeding when I was pregnant with him, and in spite of that, he was administered one feed of formula, which (I later learned) could have been avoided. After he was born, I remember having loads of questions and not having a network of breastfeeding women to ask them to. I had attended a La Leche League meeting when I was pregnant with my son, and had learnt loads from those meetings, but, those in-person meetings were conducted once a month. With time, I found out the reliable sites where I could get accurate breastfeeding related information, and started keeping myself well-informed. My son used to nurse very often and it made me wonder if he was getting enough nutrition from breast milk itself. Once solids were introduced, we continued to offer solids often and nurse on demand. He didn’t start eating reasonably well until he was 2.5 years old! Until then, he got most of his nutrition from breast milk itself. I know quite a few nursing mothers whose babies survived primarily on breast milk until much after solids were introduced. It was in line with our parenting philosophy to be child-led. I did deal with the regular comments about not having enough milk when the baby nursed often, but by then, I was aware about growth spurts and cluster feeding, so I would just ignore those comments and tread on. 2. You got pregnant with your second child while you were breastfeeding your older child. Some doctors advice to wean the child as stimulation of the nipples can cause issues during pregnancy. How true is it? Even before I got pregnant, I was aware that one doesn’t need to wean the child off breastfeeding when pregnant, if it is a low risk pregnancy. I got pregnant again when he was a little over 2.5 years old and I nursed him on demand during my pregnancy. Since mine was a low risk pregnancy, I didn’t mention it to the medical professionals I consulted that I was continuing to breastfeed. I ran a few tests after I found out I was pregnant and had no deficiencies whatsoever in spite of me nursing him on demand for over 2.5 years. All my nutritional needs were met by the food (without taking any supplements), and this was done by ensuring that I ate a nutrient dense varied diet. I dealt with nursing aversions when I was pregnant with my daughter, but they weren’t as severe as what some of my friends dealt with. Those friends partially/ fully weaned their child during the second pregnancy. Nursing aversions are a huge part of breastfeeding journeys, but it isn’t something that people are well aware about. I ate well and tried to rest when I could with the support of my husband. 3. When the first journey doesn’t go as we wished, we only hope that things are better the second time around and we have things our way. How did it go the second time? My first birth didn’t go the way I wanted it to. Even though I was well read about the effects of interventions on birth, I received a cascade of medical interventions. Even though mine was a vaginal delivery, there was nothing normal about it. The second time round I was determined to have an intervention free birth. After a lot of planning, my daughter was born at home in an intervention-free, planned home birth and was nursed within the first hour of birth until she unlatched on her own accord. From the time she was little; she was an efficient nurser and slept through the night. She took on to solids well from the time they were introduced. I didn’t deal with many challenges when breastfeeding either of my children. It did help that I had read about common nursing behaviour when I was pregnant with my first. 4. Tandem feeding can sometimes be exhaustive as both children are trying to meet different needs. That means you need to be available round the clock. My son would wake up more often than her sometimes. I would offer to nurse my daughter first and then my son would nurse. The first 3 months were extremely hard, but it got better after that. I nursed both of them on demand for almost a year. At the end of the year, it got very hard because my son was waking up very often at night and nursing. I was barely getting any sleep and it was affecting my parenting. I night weaned him very gently and it didn’t involve any tears. I didn’t even know this was a possibility, goes to say that he may have been ready! After he was night weaned, we all started sleeping much better. He will be 5 soon and nurses between 1-4 times a day. I hope to let them self-wean and let them decide when they don’t want to nurse any more. 5. Your children were born in Ireland and India. How would you compare the support in terms of delivery and breastfeeding? With my first, when we were in Ireland, we didn’t have a lot of interaction with medical professionals. The time we went for check-ups, there was no cause of concern since he gained weight adequately. We moved back to India when
Cherishing every moment of breastfeeding toddlers!: Breastfeeding Journey
Madhu was born in India but has lived in many countries outside of India for most of her life. She spent most of her childhood in Nigeria, Lesotho and Kenya and her teenage years (secondary school onwards) in South Africa. She did a Business Finance degree in university and then did her board exams to qualify as a Chartered Accountant. After finishing her training contract, Madhu moved to Dublin, Ireland for work. She met and married her husband in Ireland after about 5 years of living there and moved to Cork to be with him. They have 2 sons of age 7 and 3.5 years. Madhu currently works in the Finance department of Apple. She is a co-admin on one of the largest support group, Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM), on Facebook. 1. Madhu, we heard you had a difficult first delivery. How was your breastfeeding journey as a first time mother? I had a tough start to my breastfeeding journey with my first child because he had a very traumatic birth and ended up intubated and in the NICU. After a critical emergency C-Section, I was in poor shape too. Our first feed was more than 12 hours after his birth, but he latched like a pro which made me very happy. He was given some formula in the hospital due to bad information and advice. But I managed to completely wean him off the formula within the first week of his birth. I was very determined to cut out the formula so I just kept putting him to the breast more often and worked through a few days of constant nursing until my supply caught up with his demand. And he was exclusively breastfed after that point. We did have our usual issues of blocked ducts, working through growth spurts and other sleepless nights! He started cutting down on his feeds towards the end of his second year and was down to one feed at bedtime for a few months when I got pregnant with his brother. He then fully weaned when I was around 16 weeks pregnant and he was just over 3 years old. 2. Some doctors advice against breastfeeding while pregnant. Were you adviced the same? I actually never brought up the fact that I was breastfeeding while pregnant with health professionals as my elder son was down to only a bedtime feed at that stage and I had heard from others on my breastfeeding support groups that the fed through pregnancy without any issues. I didn’t really develop nursing aversions as such, but I did get nipple sensitivity a few weeks into the pregnancy at which point I found the latch uncomfortable. I was pretty happy with my son’s decision to wean at that stage because I suspect that I would have developed severe aversions if I had to continue feeding through the discomfort. 3. I believe you did not read about breastfeeding during your first child. But you were experienced and armed with a lot of information the second time round. How different was it as compared to the first time? Yes, I didn’t read much on breastfeeding the first time. I was pretty clueless!! I thankfully had a much better start to my breastfeeding journey with my younger son. Although he was also born by emergency c-section, it was a much gentler process. I made sure he was safely in my arms and latched on as I was wheeled out of surgery into recovery. He had a good long first feed of around 2 hours and all the medical professionals were amazed by him. I had an overactive letdown for the first few weeks but was able to overcome this with doing laid back nursing. After that, we have had a very smooth journey and he is still going strong at 3.5 years. When asked he says that he will never stop having ‘mikky’. I believe in natural term nursing, ie allowing the child to decide when they are ready to wean so will just wait till the younger child is ready to move on. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding or both for nearly 8 years and sometimes I just want to be done with it, but I know I will miss it when he stops! 4. Both your children were born in Ireland. How has your experience with doctors and nurses been during your hospital stay? I found the support was very hit and miss and depending on the medical professional’s own experience rather than following the best guidelines regarding breastfeeding. I was much better informed the second time and so they largely left me alone to carry on with feeding. The first time I had some very helpful and supportive midwives and others were just handing over formula at the first sign of a question. 5. How did you manage breastfeeding your children when you went back to work? I didn’t go back to work with my first till he was 14 months old so never needed to pump for him. My second child was around 9 months old when I went back to work so I pumped for him till he was around 1. He had little interest in drinking the pumped milk so his childminder used the milk as a topping on his cereal. Both children fed as normal on weekends and in the evening / night so there was never really much impact on our nursing journey. 6. Nursing in public (NIP) is perceived differently in different countries. How would you compare it Ireland with India? Ireland is a country where formula feeding is the norm so I hadn’t really seen people NIP here and my initial few times I used a nursing cover. But once the baby hit around 3 months, he hated to be covered. So I just wore a slightly big t-shirt and started nursing him out and about and never had any negative experiences with this – in fact many older ladies came over to compliment us and tell me that they hadn’t seen anyone nursing for a long time and how nice it was to see. We only visited India on
And yes, we persisted!: Breastfeeding Journey
Chetana Ajit is a La Leche League Leader and a Certified Lactation Educator Counselor. She is passionate about helping, supporting mothers and babies figure out breastfeeding. She has two children- Disha is 7 years and recently self-weaned. Tamia is 2.5 years and their nursing relationship is going strong. In her spare time, she helps out as an admin in Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) Facebook group. She homeschools her children and is an advocate of natural childbirth. I was fast asleep. Something soft was pressing against my face. I tried to brush it away, only to realize that it was my daughter’s stomach. Her head was on my chest, blissfully breastfeeding upside down. I then flipped her, snuggled close and went right back to sleep. 1. How prepared were you for breastfeeding immediately after childbirth? Were you able to nurse your baby immediately? I took breastfeeding for granted while I was pregnant. My mind was wandering when the instructor in the childbirth class was explaining about pumps and feeding bottles. How could anyone feed their baby in plastic bottles, when they have two perfect body parts designed just to do that? At about 37 weeks of pregnancy, I was diagnosed with Intra-Uterine Growth Disorder (IUGR). I went for an ultrasound and was told that my baby is not growing well. After my midwife (my primary care giver) consulted with the doctor, she suggested that it would be best to induce labor. Our concern for our baby took over and we agreed to everything she recommended. I later found out that for most women with IUGR, the prescribed treatment is bed rest and eating highly nutritious food. Unfortunately, at that time we were unaware of these options. In retrospect, I should have questioned my midwife about it. But it was also her responsibility to give me options and help me make an informed decision. After being induced, my daughter was born vaginally in a freestanding natural birthing center. She was 1.98 kgs at birth and was declared Small for Gestational Age (SGA). SGA babies typically have trouble maintaining normal body temperature. She was immediately transferred to a Neonatal ICU (NICU). And her first food was drops of formula and not the perfect food that was waiting for her, made just for her. 2. What was your reaction when you heard of the baby being fed formula? Formula was a forced option. Our whole world started spiraling downhill. I remember being very angry and feeling betrayed when I found about kangaroo care. It is a technique practiced on a newborn, usually preterm, infants wherein the infant is held, skin-to-skin, with an adult. Kangaroo care, named for the similarity to how certain marsupials carry their young, was initially developed to care for preterm infants in areas where incubators are either unavailable or unreliable. It is a natural, baby-mother friendly way to help maintain body temperature. After a reasonably gentle, natural birth outside the hospital, without painkillers, without unnecessary interventions, our daughter was lying in an incubator, with tubes sticking out and wires running through her tiny body. The system functioned precisely as it was designed to – force-feeding technology and blind trust in expert opinion as opposed to nature-given care perfected over generations. Why weren’t we informed about our choices when she spent one week in the NICU, when I was struggling with pumping? When I was confused after her doctor told us that the only way we could take her home was if they could measure and declare that she was “eating” well? Here, the “eating” meant guzzling up formula from a plastic bottle, with a plastic nipple. This was a very vulnerable phase in our lives and it came as a shock to me that my daughter was getting formula. But I so badly wanted to be at home with my baby that I convinced myself that her getting a few more bottles of formula is okay and we can just get back to breastfeeding once this ordeal is over. 3. Since breast milk supply is generated through demand, how were you maintaining your supply? Were you allowed to provide the baby with pumped milk? Time at the NICU was very stressful for all of us. I was forced out of the hospital room after just a day. We ended up renting a room at the hotel inside the hospital premises just to be close to her. I made trips from the hotel room to the NICU every two hours to hold and nurse my baby. In the time spent away from NICU, I was pumping to make sure that I would be able to breastfeed later. I was tired, emotional and distraught. But for a week we kept up this routine, in the hope that our daughter will be home soon. On one of the NICU trips, I spotted a pacifier in my daughter’s mouth although we had made it very clear that we did not want it. I was mad! There were Lactation Consultants (IBCLCs) at the hospital, but two sessions with them left me feeling even more helpless and drained. By this time, our daughter was having a lot of formula and hardly any breast milk. The hospital grade pump I was using was not as effective as she would have been, had we been allowed to nurse round the clock. A close friend who had an older nursing daughter pumped and sent us her breast milk. I was grateful that she would be getting less formula and more breast milk. But due to strong opposition from my family I had to stop giving her that precious milk. I wish I had not, but exhaustion coupled with confusion led to this decision. 4. Its very sad to see how some hospitals are hand in glove with the formula companies. What a difficult experience it must have been! And I am guessing, the ordeal had just begun? Once we finally got her home, I was determined more than
Two journeys, two continents, Enriching!: Breastfeeding Journey
Asha DSouza is a Stay at Home Mum (SAHM) of two, daughter aged 6 years old and son aged 21 months. She has done her post-graduation in Business Administration. Asha was a Background screening and Information Security professional before she had kids. She is currently a co-admin on one of the largest breastfeeding support group, Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). 1.Asha, tell us about your experience with the first latch. My daughter was born in Bangalore in 2011. I had a severe case of hyperemsis gravidarum until the 8th month of my pregnancy. It was so bad that I could not even keep my own saliva down and my esophagus had corroded due to the constant vomiting. I was forced to leave my job as my health condition did not permit me to continue and have been a SAHM ever since. My daughter was born vaginally on her due date. The staff at St. Philomena’s hospital, Bangalore, where she was born (it was the same hospital I was born as well!) was quite supportive throughout my pregnancy and my breastfeeding journey. My daughter latched on within half hour of birth and there was no looking back. I had initial issues with the latch and positioning, but the lactation counsellor (LC) at the hospital guided me well. At no point was formula suggested and for that I am grateful. I’m glad I changed hospitals early on my pregnancy. 2. It’s amazing to have found a very supportive hospital during your pregnancy and delivery. Was the same support extended by your daughter’s paediatrician too? On my daughters 6 week checkup, the first paediatrician who weighed her felt I needed to top her up with formula as her weight gain wasn’t satisfactory. It was a big blow as all I did was breastfeed my daughter; her pee and poop count were good as well. My mother was very supportive and assured me that it wasn’t needed. Nevertheless, I had constant doubts and bought a can of formula. When I offered it to my daughter she promptly threw it up. I resolved to change paediatricians and I found one recommended by a friend. He assured me that my baby is doing fine and top-ups aren’t necessary. I threw the can of formula and proceeded to exclusively breastfeed (EBF) my daughter until she was 6 months. 3. The WHO and most doctors now strictly advice breastfeeding till the first 6 months. But unfortunately, till a few years back, a lot of new parents were easily pressurised into starting solids as early as 3 months. Did you feel the heat too? I was pressurised by “well meaning people” to start solids/cows milk at 3 months as my milk “won’t be enough”. At that time, support groups were not in existence or I wasn’t aware of any; I did not own a smart phone either. I had not researched anything about breastfeeding during my pregnancy as the thought did not even occur to me. Most of what I followed was based on my instincts. I chanced upon Kellymom when my daughter was a couple of months old and that became my breastfeeding bible. 4. Breastfeeding, although the most natural thing, comes with its own set of struggles. How was it for you? Breastfeeding was a very lonely journey, there wasn’t even a smart phone for entertainment so I read books while I breastfed. I learnt the art of lying down and nursing only when my daughter was about 4 months old. It was a saviour since, and I wished I had known it existed earlier. Prior to that, I was constantly sleep deprived with all the night waking. Also, for someone who struggles with back issues, sitting up and nursing was a nightmare. My daughter would refuse to go to my husband at nights so I stayed up and recited songs in my head so that I don’t fall asleep. Unfortunately, my daughter hated sleeping and still does. She would not nap for more than 10 minutes at a stretch. Once solids were started at 6 months, things didn’t change much, she preferred breast milk to solids and it continued well into her second year. My husband gifted me my first smart phone when my daughter was 10 months old, on our wedding anniversary. I was able to research more easily then. After 2 years of breastfeeding, I had enough and desperately wanted to wean her especially at night. All my attempts were futile and I did not have the heart to see her cry so much. I started accepting the situation and was assured by my parents that she will wean when she is ready (I myself weaned at 4 years of age). 5. The WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years of breastfeeding. How old was your daughter when she weaned? Tell us a little about extended breastfeeding. At 3.1 years, my daughter night weaned. When she was 3.4 years old we moved to Australia; and at 3.8 years she completely weaned. Her last feed to go was the morning after wake up. She never asked for it again. This made me feel very sad and I was afraid of losing that precious bonding. But we connected in so many other ways; I co-sleep with both my children. I hadn’t met any other mums who were breastfeeding older children. I wasn’t ashamed to tell people I did but many a times came across expressions of shock, amusement and even disgust. Someone close even remarked that my breasts would start sagging bad and my daughter would get too dependent on me. It only strengthened my resolve to continue on our journey. Breastfeeding comforted my daughter, it also forced me to pause and smell the roses. 6. Your son’s delivery was a little hard on you guys. Tell us more. Two months after my daughter weaned I fell pregnant with my son. I had severe nausea throughout the pregnancy but never the same as with my daughter. Life
Determination is all it takes to push your limits!: Breastfeeding Journey
Charulatha, lovingly known as Charu, is a software Engineer with Intel Technology in Bangalore. She loves travelling and is on the move with her kids, at regular intervals. When she is not at work, she spends her time reading to her kids or planning for the next trip. Charu conceived with medical intervention after 8yrs of marriage and is blessed with twins, a boy and a girl, now 4.5yrs. She is an admin on the Breastfeeding Support for Moms of Multiples India (BSMMI) and Truly Spooky Facebook groups. 1.A lot of mothers, due to various reasons, struggle to nurse one baby. How was it for you with two premature babies? My babies were born at 31 weeks and immediately shifted to the NICU in another hospital. I was just a kilometre away, unaware and happily waiting for them to get well so I could go home soon. Back then, I was quite naive about everything. I believed that they’re kept in the incubator and it would be as safe as the mother’s womb; they are being fed and they will be out in probably 2 days and we will go home and our breastfeeding journey will begin. I did not even know the importance of expressing or pumping till then. Fortunately, my delivery doctor and the NICU head kept pushing me to express breast milk. I tried, but I had no idea about how to express and what was expected. Nothing came. The 20-year old nurses, although were always ready to help, it was unfortunate that they didn’t know it themselves. They kept squeezing my breasts but their technique left me in severe pain and with no milk. 2. All of that sounds so devastating. So, when were you able to feed your children? My breasts were engorged and the pain was unbearable and that made it more difficult to express. On the third day, my daughter got jaundice and the NICU doctor said that even a few ml of breast milk would help her get better. I knew I had to do this and I was ready to do whatever it takes. I didn’t even believe I had milk as none of the previous methods to express were fruitful. I waited for my delivery doctor to come and prove to me that I was lactating. When she pressed the breast, the milk began to flow and I was ecstatic. I learnt the technique from her and expressed oddly 10ml of liquid gold. And that was fed to my daughter. My breastfeeding journey began that night. My sister and a very dear friend mentioned that milk comes as the baby sucks or only if I express for their needs. I kept trying the whole night. I was able to get 30ml of milk. I expressed every two hours and each session lasted for 2 hours, all with my hands. I wish someone had educated me about pumps. The nights were exhausting as I was only expressing with no sleep. I, finally, met my babies on the fourth day. They were both on ventilators and while their struggle to breathe was over, they were still trying to cope with the outside world. 3. Did you do not try to bring your babies to the breast? My twins used to vomit on my breast every time I nursed them directly as they were diagnosed with Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) and their guts were still developing. Their sucking caused chillness allergies in me as I was on it for almost the entire day. One day I developed high fever and then I stopped trying. In addition, the misunderstanding that my son might not be leaving enough for my daughter turned me into a paranoid mother worried for her daughter’s growth. I had a supportive paediatrician but I still had my doubts. Expressing made me feel more comfortable as it was convenient and I was also aware of each baby’s intake. It was exclusive pumping for me for 21 months. I was able to pump 1.4l of milk a day until 1 year and then 1l a day until the 18th month. During the 18th month, my kids were hospitalised which led to drastic reduction in pumping sessions. That in turn affected my supply. Between the 18th and the 21st month, I got just about 10ml of milk after half an hour’s pumping session. The nurses at the NICU suggested a 20 minute limit and an every two hour feed. My kids were NICU graduates. Hence, the two-hour schedule was programmed. Because of express feeding, the bottle time was just 2 minutes for my son since the beginning and my daughter would take 5 minutes. The schedule for direct nursing and bottle feeding is different. I tried power pumping in the hope to bring back my supply but I was already obese and was on hormonal pills and that too had an effect on my supply. 4. How did you manage to pump when you went back to office? My previous employer (Texas Instruments) and my current one (Intel) are amongst the best women friendly employers in the world. The companies have a luxurious baby care room that provides facilities for pumping and other necessities. I stored the milk in the fridge and on my way back home I used freezer packs. That was a blessing. 5. Over the course of time, we hear so many myths that we swing from being frustrated to laughing at it. Have you been affected by these myths as you were quite unaware as a first time mom? I was told that babies don’t understand anything as they are small. When I was pregnant, I used to talk to my babies – through words and thoughts. I had a small fight with husband for which I raised my voice. For the next 2 days, my son stopped kicking and moving in the womb. He is the same at 4.5 years. In the NICU, I was shocked to see my babies –
Set small targets & watch years go by!: Breastfeeding Journey
Dhanya M.A is a post graduate and worked for 5 years before conceiving her first born. She continued working outside home for another 6 years till her 2nd was almost 1. She then took a 2 years break and got back to work last year. Dhanya is a very active member of the Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) facebook group and with other members, organizes events and gatherings for mothers and families to spread awareness about breastfeeding. 1.You have two lovely daughters. We would like to hear about your breastfeeding journey with both of them. The first time around I had no clue. Nobody told me what I might face. It was taken for granted – that it would just happen and be smooth! Reality was far from it. I struggled for almost 1.5 months hurting at each feed and not getting the right latch. Then we struggled with Cow’s Milk Protein (CMP) intolerance. During this period, the only thing I was sure of is that I wanted to breastfeed her exclusively for 6 months and continue till at least 2 years. I was particular I wouldn’t opt for artificial milk, unless there is a medical need to. My older self-weaned at 2.5 years. Though she was the one who decided to stop, looking back, I now feel I did contribute to her stopping in some ways. I wasn’t aware of not dropping feeds before the 1 year mark or to feed on demand till 2. So I guess I did end up encouraging her to wean, which I regret now. Surprisingly, it still wasn’t smooth even with the second one even though I had read a lot, when it came to the real thing I still had my struggles but at least I knew to visit a lactation consultant right on the 3rd day. I also got a lot of support and encouragement from the BSIM group. I dint drop feeds till she was past 1. I did not stop the night feeds till she was past 2. Today, we continue to feed and I don’t care when she will stop. She will listen to her body to stop when she no longer needs it. It has always been comforting through all the growth spurts, milestones, teething, sickness, new surroundings, new people – BF solves it all 🙂 2. You went back to work when your first child was 7 months. How did you manage when the baby is nursing on demand and has just started solids? She would still need breastmilk, right? I always nursed lying down so that was a big relief. With my first born, I wasn’t aware that I shouldn’t drop feeds till 1, so she was mainly on solids for the 8 hrs that I was away but after I returned she would direct feed every 2 hrs. She didn’t wake much at nights – 1 or 2 feeds max at night. She also fed before I left for work. With my second, I returned to work when she was 3.5 years. So it’s only before bed feeds now. She still feeds like a baby when she is sick sometimes. I think learning to nurse lying down makes a big difference. You can rest while the baby’s feeds continue un-altered. 3. How difficult is breastfeeding? Did you ever want to give up? I will not build a rosy picture. It’s very tough the initial few weeks but having someone to help with other chores, someone you can talk to, someone who will support you makes it much easier. Once you and your baby have got the hang of it, it’s pretty smooth. There are periods of craziness – during growth spurts, teething etc but without BF, these phases are more difficult to deal with. I cried and I cursed around growth spurts but somehow the thought to give up never crossed my mind! I am thankful for that. 4. Most mothers are asked to wean as soon as the baby turns a year old. Your younger daughter is 3.5 years and you both are doing awesome! Have you had the pressure to wean? Do you think it’s going to be difficult to wean her later? I don’t believe things said very easily. I like to read up and do my own research before I reach a conclusion. I have had people tell me to wean before 2 years as it will be difficult later. Of course they do wean! I have never known or heard of a breastfeeding teenager :). Self-weaning occurs between the ages of 3-7. Most wean when they lose their latch once the milk teeth fall. But thankfully I have had to hear all of that only the first time. Now, I think they know I am not going to listen to them. And my family has been very pro-BF too. My hubby is very encouraging of BF even in public. He believes BF has made a big difference in the health of our kids. 5. A lot of paediatricians suggest timing the feeds and to not nurse before a gap of 2 hours. Is it really necessary to set limits for nursing babies – younger or older? Don’t watch the clock for a baby younger than a year old. Watch your baby instead. The initial few weeks they are feeding round the clock and that is normal. It is important to nurse on demand to set the supply. We started setting limits after she completed 1 but I was still feeding on demand mostly – at least 4-5 times a day. At around 2.2 years, I followed the Jay Gordon methods to night wean. She herself ended up dropping feeds and we are down to 1 feed now. Even those she sometimes refuses. There are days when I am tired and I refuse (explaining to her why) and she understands and there are no tantrums. I think it gets easier as they grow, because they understand when you explain. If
Nurse on demand, always!: Breastfeeding Journey
Srividya Sriram did her Engineering in Computer science and was working as a technical consultant before marriage. Post wedding, she quit her job as she had to join her husband abroad soon after. They had their son after 2 years of marriage and she didn’t want to look back at the corporate world. She had read about the benefits of reading early to children and the hunt for books for her little one ended up in starting an online business in books for kids. Eat Play Read (EPR) was born and the journey has been beautiful. If you are looking for books for your kids, do check out her website – www.eatplayread.in. 1. Tell us about your breastfeeding journey, Srividya. I had an extremely difficult start. It was a C-sec delivery and my supply didn’t start till 3 days after surgery. I kept latching him but I knew he wasn’t getting enough. He was fussy all the time and lost weight. His paediatrician scared us by saying that he was starving and we had to give formula a few times. And reluctantly, I had to give in but I can’t explain my joy when breast milk finally kicked in after 3 days. Unfortunately, he was too used to formula by then and wasn’t ready to latch. 2. How did you work around eliminating formula? It was a process of elimination of formula and nipple shield at the same time! Thankfully the formula part wasn’t difficult as it was given only for 2 days till my flow had set in. He took to the breast immediately. When I was struggling with getting him to latch, a “wise” nurse suggested nipple shield. He began to latch and was doing better with it but as days passed by, the sterilising of shields and the pain I had to undergo with all the pulling through nipple shield was just unbearable! I still remember the day when my nipples were bruised and I could see some blood in my newborn’s mouth. So scary! That’s when I sought help from some breastfeeding support groups and the process to wean him off the shield began. Whenever I offered my breasts without the shield, he cried his lungs out and wasn’t ready to latch. I slowly replaced one feed at a time without the shield and he latched on directly one fine day after 2 long months. I was in happy tears! My baby’s soft warm mouth on my breasts was the best feeling ever! 3. Although, you work from home, your work must be keeping you really busy. So do you time your feeds? I have never timed his feeds and definitely not the right thing to do. It is important to feed on demand to ensure your supply is always maintained. When I started off, my son was really young and I had oversupply issues too. I used to pump and store so in case there was a situation, he would be fed the stored milk. Breastfeeding is a blessing as there is no preparation required. So while he was always fed on demand, work would still continue too. 4. How is your experience with nursing in public (NIP)? It has been a breeze till date. I still breastfeed my 2.5 year old in public. My amazing support system in my husband and family keeps me going. They are all on board with nursing on demand, irrespective of the place, and also with gentle weaning, whenever my son and I are ready. I have my baby carrier when I step out and nursing in a carrier is a blessing in disguise. I can’t imagine going out with an infant (or a toddler) if not breastfeeding in a carrier. It’s so discrete and gets easier once you master it. Ring sling is my go to carrier for nursing. Full buckles are quite convenient too! 5. When and if you have your second child, what will you do differently? I wish I had read up a lot during my pregnancy. Nobody tells you to do so and that’s the advice I have for all first time moms. Read up and join support groups during your pregnancy itself. You become more confident about your capabilities and nobody can deter you from giving in your best! Never ever give up! Breastfeeding is the most natural thing ever and it will just happen. Just put the baby to your breasts as much as possible and things will eventually fall in place. The second time around, I am going to try my best for a VBAC and definitely a big NO to nipple shields.
Breastfeeding and Babywearing save the day!: Breastfeeding Journey
Akshaya Abhilash is a teacher by profession but quit immediately after having her baby as she did not want to miss out on enjoying her baby’s formative years. She was always keen on doing something from home as that would keep her busy and allow her to be around her little one too. Akshaya now runs a small business of handloom sarees (from home) and also teaches the most dreaded saree-draping, Akshaya Drapes – all with the baby in tow. Breastfeeding and babywearing has only made it easier for them rather than difficult. 1. Akshaya, how do you manage to teach saree draping and nurse the baby at the same time? Saree draping is something I teach at home and I connect to clients through my page drapes and more. If I have to breastfeed her while attending to a client I do so. It rarely happens as she’s 16 months old now and doesn’t nurse that often. I usually wear her on my back and attend to clients, and the session is a breeze. If she does want to nurse, I wear her in the front and nurse. Our work does not stop. Recently, we also organised Pune’s first babywearing FlashMob, all with the support of fellow babywearing moms and the only thing that helped me is the fact that I still nurse her. We nursed before, after and even during the practice sessions! 2. How prepared were you with the idea of breastfeeding and doing it in real Breastfeeding to me wasn’t just nourishing my child. It was about the emotional connection more than anything else. Every time I pictured myself as a mother I’d have a mental image of me nursing my baby. When I conceived, I read up on the benefits and was determined to breastfeed my child successfully. My paternal grandmother was a huge support for me (she passed away recently) and so is my husband. I delivered my daughter via c-section in a small nursing home and the nurses there although helpful, misinformed us. They had to help me initially to help nurse her as I couldn’t sit up so they used to time the feeds. After 10 minutes they’d say that’s enough and make her burp and take her away. I found it dissatisfying. She would wake up crying frequently and they forced formula saying your milk hasn’t come in. I objected strongly as I could feel my breasts getting engorged and leaking right from the second day of giving birth. I complained to the doctor and by then I could get up and sit. So I stopped the nurses from taking my baby away. I let her nurse as long as she wanted so she would be satisfied and top feeds weren’t required at all. Husband helped me a lot in this. We did have our share of issues such as cracked nipples, engorgement and latching issues. Latching issues were due to my oversupply. She would refuse to nurse from my right breast and I had to express a little then try to latch her. I even tried feeding her lying flat on my back with her on me. This continued till 5 months and was fine once my supply was established. I had read up a lot, and still do, so I knew it was just a phase that we would get through. 3. Did you have an issue with supply? While there are some genuine cases of difficulty, how difficult do you think is breastfeeding? A lot of people tried to convince me of having low supply, and I ended up having food items (shatavari, leafy veggies) to increase my milk and I ended up struggling with oversupply. I used to leak buckets and was engorged all the time. In reality, there is no supply issue. Every newborn nurses round the clock. Nursing continuously is what sets your supply for the baby. But due to a lot of misinformation out there, a lot of new mothers fall into the formula trap. Breastfeeding is not difficult but it’s a skill that needs guidance. It’s something that comes naturally and all that a.new mom needs is someone to hold her hand and say “You’re doing a good job! I’m here, don’t worry. This is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. Don’t give up.” 4. I try to ask this in most interviews, as we get to hear a new thing every single time. So, what are the myths of breastfeeding that you have been fed with? — The low supply myth is quite common and thrown at a new mother by every second person. Only when my daughter put on some weight, people stopped discussing my supply. — Breastfed babies dont eat solids. My baby is 16 months old and nurses on demand. She is an extremely adventurous eater and is game for trying any new food item you give her. She balances solids and breastmilk perfectly and doesn’t let it affect her appetite for food. — Since she is breastfed she is clingy. My baby got stranger anxiety early at 6 months and people were ready to jump at my throat that it was due to me nursing her. Apparently, she wasn’t going to anybody because she was breastfeeding. (Whatever that really meant) Every baby goes through periods and phases of stranger anxiety and that is just normal. Breastfed or otherwise, all babies need their mother. There is no two ways about that. — Breastfeeding is embarrassing and difficult when outside. I find that breastfed babies are extremely travel friendly and even if I don’t carry a snack for her or she doesn’t want to have something outside, I know my baby won’t be hungry as she has breastmilk to nourish her. Even before she was born I was prepared with nursing wear to nurse in public (NIP). Initially, I did struggle with it being discreet and fumbled with nursing aprons but slowly got the hang of
