Let it be your decision: Breastfeeding Journey
Uma Bhalerao was born and brought up in Thane (Mumbai, India). She has done her Masters in French, specialising in Translations. She moved to Bangalore in 2006 where she began her career at the Alliance Francaise de Bangalore. Later on, she moved to her job at the French Consulate as the Assistant to the Consul General of France. Uma quit her job after her first born arrived. She is now a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) to her two adorable sons, Siddharth and Trikay. Uma is a certified Babywearing Educator and does consultations from home to help caregivers learn about the concept of Babywearing. She also runs a small business – The Owl Mama, where she sells customised, hand knit products, designed and knit by her. Uma believes that your decision to breastfeed should not be influenced by anybody.
Breastfeeding And Migraines: Breastfeeding Journey
Dreamer. Technology Enthusiast. Marketer. Traveller. Potter were terms that Dhannya Sreekumar tried using to define herself. But then her daughter came along and motherhood gave her a new Avatar. Slowing down of the 10 years of corporate madness was a blessing in disguise, as it gave her fresh insights and enthusiasm to build https://www.mommypower.in/, a technology driven information platform for new age Indian moms. She now looks for technology led solutions that will make a mom’s life easier and will help her make better decisions for her child. Dhannya’s journey with breastfeeding and migraines is inspiring.
A smooth breastfeeding experience: Breastfeeding Journey
Divya Shori is a Marketing and PR professional. She has a career spanning 12 years and is currently working currently for a MNC which is into Management Consulting. Over the years, she has switched many hats from Support Service to IT to PMO and finally found her passion in Marketing and PR. Divya is a PGDBA in Marketing. She is a doting mother to a 2.5 year old girl, Vanshika. Divya is one of the lucky mothers to have a smooth breastfeeding experience.
Breastfeeding instincts, allergies & more: Breastfeeding Journey
Shyamala Sathiaseelan loves to travel and she considers herself a nomad. She finished her Engineering in Computer Science in 1994 from Coimbatore. Shyamala worked in the IT industry for 14 years before quitting her job to take care of her children. She tried her hand at teaching, interpreting and writing before she ended up becoming a lactation consultant (LC). Read on to know how Shyamala stuck to her breastfeeding instincts with both her children to nurse them to term.
Breastfeeding Positive Effects: Breastfeeding Journey
Padmashri Shanmugaraj, lovingly known as Pallavi to her near and dear ones, is a Registered Dietitian with 14 years of progressive experience in patient counseling, Corporate Wellness Programs, content writing, academics as well as recruitment and training of dietitians. She holds a Post graduate Diploma in Dietetics & Hospital food Service from IHMCTAN, Mumbai and is the Managing Partner at Prime Health Consultants. Padmashri is a breast feeding, cloth diapering, babywearing and co-sleeping mom who believes in attachment parenting. Her sons are 8 ½ (Sarvesh) and 2 ½ (Saharsh) years old. She lives in Mumbai with her sons and her husband. Read on to know about the breastfeeding positive effects of Pallavi’s journey with her sons. 1. Padmashri, your children are 6 years apart. How different were/are your experiences if you had to compare your breastfeeding journeys? Both my deliveries were C-sections, and during both times, my babies were put to my breast within 30 minutes of birth. Thankfully, I did not have to insist as both times I was assured by my gynaecologists that it would happen. I was under the care of different doctors and both times the doctors as well as the support staff were extremely supportive and pro-breastfeeding. The first latch, both times, was successful and extremely blissful. I breastfed both my children exclusively for the first six months. My older weaned off (in three days) when he was 18 months old with no issues whatsoever (Phew!). I continue to breastfeed my 29 month old now. The age difference between my sons is 6 ¼ year; so I wasn’t fortunate enough to tandem nurse. With Sarvesh, the breastfeeding journey was nothing but pleasant and uneventful; but, with Saharsh, there are days (even now at 29 months), when he nurses almost 6 times during the day and at least 5 times in the night. Those are the days I wish I could get a 7 hour long, uninterrupted sleep (sigh!). I remind myself what a boon breastfeeding is, and I pick myself up and go back to being grateful for what I have. I was not aware of the concept of self weaning and extended breastfeeding with Sarvesh. He started eating solids pretty well when he was around 15 months and I was under the impression that if I didn’t wean him off before he turned two, he would never wean. So, I decided to start the process when he was 1 ½ years old and surprisingly he weaned off in three days! I hope to nurse my younger one at least till he turns three. 2. Normalising breastfeeding should begin at home. How did your older son react to you nursing your younger one? When Sarvesh came to visit me and Saharsh at the hospital, on the evening of day 1, I made him sit next to me and let him see me nursing Saharsh. He had a few questions about whether it hurt me and how would I know if his tummy was full and if he can tell his friends about it (ha ha). The fact that he had learnt about mammals feeding their young ones with their own milk, in school, was a great help, of course! 3. Did you have to resume work immediately? How did you ensure that your son’s nutritional needs were met while you were away? During Sarvesh’s time, I was working with a U.S-based firm which required me to work from home (WFH) entirely. So, I resumed work when he was 3 months old. I used to work for a couple of hours at night when I knew Sarvesh would be sleeping for sure. With Saharsh, I resumed my out-of-home work commitments once I completed my six months of exclusive breastfeeding. I never took up commitments that needed me for more than four hours. I used to nurse Saharsh before I left, and my mother in law offered one complementary feed (pumped breast milk) and then I would be back for his next breastfeed. Rest of my work commitments, I managed from home. Being a WFH home, I never felt the need to pump. Except for when I was diagnosed with lymphadenitis/sore nipples when I couldn’t nurse Saharsh from my left breast, I had to hand-express to relieve myself from engorgement. Thankfully, this lasted for just a few days. 4. Would I be right in saying that your profession helped ward off the “well-meaning” advice? Well, being a dietitian, people around me always assumed I knew what I was doing and were confident I would do the right thing. So, thankfully, I wasn’t bombarded with too many of those advices. Fortunately, I never had to use formula. In fact, I never bought a feeding bottle! I am fortunate to have a family which completely trusts my decisions when it comes to my boys. So, they continue to support me. Honestly, I think I am one of those very few who have enjoyed a fairly smooth journey. I had full family’s support, my heath was also fine, both my boys were expert latch-ers and my flow was sufficient too! If I had to describe my support system in one word, it has to be, “EXCELLENT”! 5. Facebook (FB) support groups are recent. Did you ever feel the need for a support group to keep you going? During the first time around (in 2008-09), I was not a part of any support group. But, during my second stint, I was paranoid I wasn’t producing enough! May be because I was 33+ years old and also because I thought it was too good to be true for me to be able to breastfeed both my kids adequately. That’s when I joined the group Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) on FB and it was one of the best calls I took! 6. Is breastfeeding difficult? In fact, it’s the exact opposite of difficult. I feel one should make all travel plans when one is exclusively breastfeeding, because it’s hassle free and super convenient. With
“Breastfeeding is not a natural act, no”: Breastfeeding Journey
Nisha Srinivasan worked as a litigator in Mumbai, India for a couple of years before moving to Melbourne, Australia, after getting married. She found it difficult to find employment there for a couple of years. Six months after finding a job as a legal secretary, Nisha discovered she was pregnant. She worked till the end of 8 months pregnancy and began her maternity leave for a year. Nisha rejoined employment when her son was 11 months old. She is also a moderator at one of the largest Facebook breastfeeding support groups, Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). 1. In India, in lot of cases, there is always a fight as to what the baby’s first drop of milk will be – breast milk or formula. How different was it for you since your son was born in Melbourne? The midwife took matters in her hands before I could even let the long 38 hour journey of labor that led to the birth sink in. “He must be tired and hungry!”, she said and helped me latch on the baby for the first time and it felt surreal honestly. The midwife in the next shift was even more amazing. She encouraged me to feed when all I wanted to do was forget the pain and just sleep. Constantly motivated me by saying that I was doing a good job. I was very thankful for the support the midwives and nurses provided me; they always encouraged me to breastfeed. However, upon our return home latching went all awry and a nurse on a visit to my home recommended nipple shields. My only real struggle in breastfeeding was using nipple shields because my son wouldn’t latch properly. It gave me such relief that I wondered why dint everyone use them. That’s when I started reading a lot on breastfeeding and especially the shields. I read shields caused the transfer of the milk to be much lower. Prolonged feedings and disproportionate supply for the baby’s demand which would lead to slow weight gain and low pee output were some disadvantages. When my son was 10 days old, I made an appointment at with a Lactation Counsellor (LC) . The latch improved briefly, but it went back to square one pretty soon. We found out much later that my son had severe tongue, cheek and lip ties which prevented him from latching on properly. We ultimately had the ties reversed at 18 months but by then breastfeeding with nipple shields had become the norm. It was either feeding with the shields, or not at all for us. At 2+ years, we still use them. I read everything I could on the pros and cons of a shield. But determined that if I were to breastfeed, this is probably our normal. If I were to breastfeed another baby, I would probably try a lot harder before letting the shields become normal for us. 2. Breastfeeding is not a cakewalk for everybody. It takes a lot of determination and patience. Although, by now you have made peace with your ‘normal’, did you ever feel like giving up? My breastfeeding journey has been full of support of my husband, family and various care providers. I wasn’t a part of BSIM till much later in my journey and my son was already 7 months by then. It was only KellyMom to dispel any doubts that I had. I did flirt with the idea of formula because it was the norm in our families, maybe due to lack of knowledge. But my local health care providers kept saying “put the baby on the breast”. The difficulty lies in the mindsets of the people around the mum and dad. They are going to listen to all advice others have to offer as vulnerable and overwhelmed parents. The USP of formula is such a comfort that it’s crazy – selling sleep for over tired parents and particularly mums, and saying the formula has this, that and the other benefits and nutrients – the advertising also fools people. Sleeplessness can do weird things to a person! In such times of frustration, a sneaky voice says, “so, options other than lying down on your side and letting child nurse quietly and self-going to sleep include…. patting, rocking, screaming, swaying, singing, walking… umm no thank you!” So, there was no giving up whatsoever! For various reasons, a lot of women across the world want to give up. Women, as a whole, are not made to have self-confidence in their ability to nurse. And, I believe it’s important to seek help. Breastfeeding is not a natural act, no. Unless given a fair go, it will not simply happen. 3. At what point in your breastfeeding journey did you need to look out for more support through support groups? How did you become a moderator on BSIM? It only happened by accident. I was on another mother’s group and was suggesting something related to breastfeeding to someone. Someone posted a link to the BSIM group. And I was surprised that there are groups that provide such particular support! I was only ever a part of the one group before. Although I had crossed mostly all initial struggles and had nothing to ask for myself, I felt the urge to help mums who were fortunate to be in this group seeking support. I became a Peer Counsellor (PC) in around 2 weeks of joining (I was forever trolling the group!). And was given moderatorship in September 2016. I would like to thank the admin and mod team for the help, support and fun we have. And for making friends with people I haven’t met and yet share a deep ever-lasting bond! Also, a note of gratitude to the PCs who make it so much easier on the admin and mod team! A vote of thanks to the members who express gratitude to our efforts! We note the gratitude and return with thanks! 4. You went back to work
“You will never go hungry again!”: Breastfeeding Journey
Hetal Vasa did her schooling from Convent of Jesus and Mary. She is a commerce graduate and had been a banker for 9 years. Hetal has known her husband Jigesh for 10 years, and is married for 7. She quit her job when she started trying for a baby. Hetal was already suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), an autoimmune disease and the stress of work, travelling for treatment, the hormone therapies and my RA couldn’t all go hand in hand. She says, “Quitting was the best decision I made and haven’t regretted it since”. She is also an ultimate foodie and an avid reader.
“Breastfeeding is a lot more than just milk”: Breastfeeding Journey
“Every mammal breastfeeds its young one. Little did I know that this statement learnt in school would have such an impact on my life once I have a baby. And little did I know that I would value this act as a noble and divine one as well.” Swati Jagdish is a psychologist by qualification who later turned into a Lactation educator counsellor (LC) and Sex Educator. She was into behaviour analysis, training and development and had been working with corporates and students, until she got pregnant. Swati decided she was going to have a midwifery birth and hence quit her job to travel for antenatal visits and Lamaze classes. She has been doing antenatal classes and home consultations in the brand name Bond & Beyond, is the trustee of Coimbatore Parenting Network (CPN) and makes thought provoking and educative posts on her channel, Mayas_Amma. 1. Wow Swati! I think it is amazing to have the confidence in yourself and your body and go for a midwifery birth. So did all the classes that you attended prepare you well enough for the first latch? I was lucky enough to have attended elaborate sessions on breastfeeding and lactation as part of my prenatal classes. Having collected all the necessary information on breastfeeding I believed it was going to be a cakewalk. I gave birth at a birth centre at Cochin with my husband and lovely midwives by my side. I knew I had to breastfeed my baby immediately after her birth and when I did, I could see that she was struggling. This confusion and struggle confused me as I believed breastfeeding was the natural response of a newborn. Then I remembered. The Latch! I had to make sure my baby had the right latch. My midwife helped me ensure the latch was right. There. Now she drank like a pro. I was glad I figured it all out, but the following days had me in a constant questioning mode. 2. Antenatal sessions definitely make a difference. Also, the stark difference in the support received at a birth centre in comparison to a hospital is quite visible. But what led you to the constant questioning mode in spite of the extensive sessions you went through? Though I had learnt that one should breastfeed on demand, I didn’t know that the baby had to sometimes drink every twenty minutes. I used to keep a breastfeeding journal on the request of my midwife; I remember at two weeks, she fed 20 to 22 times in a day. That was a whole day of breastfeeding. Though the classes had made these things clear, witnessing and experiencing them for real was in no comparison to the theoretical knowledge one gained. Several times I doubted my supply. Is the baby getting enough? Am I making enough for my baby? Is this feeding round the clock normal? My midwives ensured, ‘it’s all going great and this is how it will be’. I was relieved and thus began this beautiful journey of bonding and love. 3. It is said that breastfeeding is your one stop solution to everything for a baby. How true is it? Breastfeeding was a savior all the time – through vaccinations, gas pains, travel and sleep deprivation. To comfort my baby in a minute, to make sure she slept peacefully, to tell her I was near her, I nursed her. Whenever she demanded, I trusted myself to be doing the right thing, just as nature intended to do. I should also mention that breastfeeding was not just something I did for my baby; it was for myself as well. I lost my mother when my baby was three months old. My father passed away too just a month later. Those were days of grief and bereavement. I had a little baby to take care of and I also had a lot of other responsibilities to fulfil. But I can’t believe the kind of respite and peace that I got by breastfeeding my baby. I found the truth behind what I learnt, that breastfeeding relaxes you and calms you down. I also had to stay strong for my baby fearing my stress will get passed on to her. Thus ensuring I mourned the death of my parents, but with lots of emotional maturity. 4. I am extremely sorry for your loss, Swati. It must have been a really tough period. How did you get through the breastfeeding challenges a new mother experiences? As a mother you are under a lot of pressure. Numerous questions are going on in your mind every minute. There was a point when I was filled with too many queries and doubts. Should I give my baby water before six months, can I lie down and feed, how to express and store milk while am away, how many hours can my baby go without feed, why did my breasts stop getting engorged, is my supply dwindling, why is my baby drinking for a shorter duration, is my baby getting disinterested, and so on. None of which I could get a satisfactory answer from elders at home or even several doctors. Just when I was about to explode with these questions, I got a wonderful support group on Facebook. Many many mothers across the globe, helping each other with evidence based research and up to date information on the dos and donts of breastfeeding. This group titled ‘Breastfeeding support for Indian Mothers’ (BSIM) also had lactation consultants, counsellors and breastfeeding friendly doctors who cleared every single query of a mother who was desperate for information. I got all my answers, and breastfed my baby exclusively for the first six months of her life without even giving a drop of water, which I never thought was possible. 5. Were you affected by Post-partum Depression (PPD)? I’ve read Marsden Wagner’s creating a birth plan during pregnancy and nothing about breastfeeding. All I had was a 2 hour session on lactation by my midwives,
“It may not be easy… but every drop counts”: Breastfeeding Journey
Journalist, public speaker, dancer, explorer, and mum to a cheeky one-year-old, Dilraz Kunnummal aims to live life to the fullest. She has a decade of experience working in the media industry across India and the Middle East, across newspapers, magazines and radio.. A lifelong expat, Dilraz loves travelling and meeting people from all over the world, and learning more about different cultures and traditions. Her goal as a mom is to raise a child who knows empathy, kindness and compassion, while also being confident of reaching his own potential whatever that may be. Dilraz often pens her thoughts on motherhood, and life with her family on her blog, mommydil.com. She is also the author of a children’s book, See You Soon. 1. Dilraz, you were part of a parenting and birthing support group in Doha during your pregnancy days. So, technically, you were quite informed about everything related to breastfeeding (BF). I am using the word technically because in spite of reading and learning so much about breastfeeding, we always have surprises just waiting to hit us. How prepared were you? I think I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. Yes, I was part of a Facebook (FB) group called Positive Birth Doha during my pregnancy. And I treated that group pretty much as my school – I diligently spent time everyday reading posts on it. I don’t think there is even one post I missed during those days. Based on advice received there, I attended antenatal classes – 2 five hour sessions with my husband, Sujid – on hypnobirthing and childcare for newborns. We learnt some important lessons, especially things like minimising interventions, trusting our body, and golden hour. This helped in giving us, both me and my husband a clear understanding of his role in parenting as well – the need for his support in breastfeeding, and the importance and value of breastfeeding. He knew, and he used to read a lot about it too. But the classes really helped. I then attended a ladies-only session on breastfeeding as well. Learnt about the importance of a good latch, how to know if baby is getting enough, and so on. I had a clear birth plan going into the birth process. And the hospital respected that. As soon as Ayan was born, they took him for about ten minutes – cleaned him, and gave him his initial shots, weighed him, with Sujid in the room, and brought him back to me for skin to skin. During the skin to skin, the nurses helped initiate the breast crawl and in getting the baby to latch. Over the next two days at the hospital, I called the nurses often to help me with the latching, and they obliged. Baby was given one feed of formula (with our permission) when I was too exhausted and he was crying too much. But that I am proud to say was the first and last bottle of formula fed. I felt all the reading and learning definitely helped and we were on track. 2. It seemed like everything was in control. Was it the same once you were back home? We came home, and then the struggles really began. His latch was off and I was in nipple pain hell. Bruised but determined. It also really helped that we did not have a formula pack at home “for backup”. My husband was incredible. He brought Ayan to me and helped in getting the latch. Took care of Ayan when I wanted a break. Every step of the way he had my back. With the advice of moms on the Positive Birth Group, I soon got in touch with an Australian Lactation Consultant (LC) Tracey Tootell, who visited us at home, spent about 2 hours with me explaining latch, and other details. The first time she put my nipple into his mouth, I was aghast. I mean it looked like she was shoving it into his mouth. But it worked, and soon I got the hang of it. I will be eternally grateful for her timely advice. Even though she got lost, and her phone conked off, she came. She found a small phone shop, charged her phone and called me to apologise and get to me. I also bought a feeding pillow soon after. And that was such a great investment! Feeding has since been a fairly easy route. Except for the time he started biting. A few days of stern NO from me and his dad, and unlatching and we were back on track. My hand was always near his mouth during those days, in case I needed to dive in and free the nipple! Funny story – recently, he bit me again. It was unexpected, so I kind of yelped, unlatched and told him not to bite. Silly little monkey roared at me – like the lion in his book! 😀 Vasospasm was a nightmare. Shooting pains which always made me feel like the left side of my body was on fire. I could not even place where the pain was originating from. After going back and forth with a doctor who misdiagnosed it to be fibromyalgia, I finally realised the pain started at the breast. I then went to my friend Google, and came to the conclusion that it was vasospasm. And the solution – keeping it covered. That was it. No more pain. I have had my wars with engorgement, milk blebs and blocked ducts. Most often than not, feeding my child was the only way for relief. But sometimes it was so engorged that he couldn’t latch. Yes! I have cried in pain! Haven’t we all? In fact, I had the worst case about a month ago, when my boy was 1.2 years old. And it caught me completely off guard. It was painful and awful and took a while to sort. 3. You delivered Ayan in Doha. The gulf countries are known to be very pro-breastfeeding and they don’t
“I haven’t been a mother who goes by the books”: Breastfeeding Journey
An architect by education, designer at heart, and poet by passion, Yaman Banerji is now an assistant professor at an architecture college in Mumbai. She is a certified babywearing educator and along with Jasmine, runs the Sling Library, Live Love & Babywear (LLB). This branches into a bunch of support groups for mothers that encompasses everything from breast feeding, fitness, cloth diapering, sustainable menstruation etc. She thoroughly enjoys multitasking – her work and juggling time with her family, friends and her bundle of energy #littlemissRu. 1. You’re quite a multitasker, Yaman. And all of this along with breastfeeding – I am sure a lot of mothers would love to be able to do just half of what you do. Yaman, in India, lot of hospitals give newborns formula without the parents’ consent. Did you face something similar? Even before I was completely aware of what was happening, the first time ever my daughter was fed, was formula through a syringe. After birthing via an emergency c-section, I was unconscious for a while. Although the nurses at the hospital constantly tried to help my baby latch, she was being formula fed intermittently on the first two days. All without permission from me or any family member. This is where I regret not being aware about lactation counselors beforehand. 2. Did #littlemissRu latch easily once you were back home? I was hell bent on breastfeeding. We kept trying and after days of hand expressing and feeding with a ‘vati chamcha’ (bowl and spoon), we were set for a smooth journey. A journey that lasted for about three years. Luckily I was surrounded by my family who knew that I wouldn’t believe in superstitions, and follow random suggestions. So everyone just let us be. It took us a good while for the latch to happen successfully. Though I tried each time she woke up crying, it was far from easy. Nurses felt that the nipples were flat, and tried pulling it out with a syringe, and slowly we were getting there. Thankfully, I didn’t have to face engorgement during this period as I was hand expressing (very painfully though) into a small bowl and feeding her. 3. You went back to work after #littlemissRu turned 6 months. How difficult was it managing work and to meet her nutritional needs from breast milk? I was on a break for about 6 months. When I resumed work as a visiting faculty, I would be away for just half a day, three times a week or so. I had a manual breast pump ready, to pump and store for the time I was away. Luckily by that time solids were introduced, as well, so I didn’t need to build a big stash. I used to pump just once a day, for one feed for her, the next day. It did take me some time to figure a time in the day where I’d get the best output. As a working mother, breastfeeding (along with babywearing) was very, very special to me. In a way, it helped me bond with my child and make up for the time spent away from her. After breastfeeding on demand for around 18 months, I had a sort of feeding routine set around my schedule. Feeds would typically be early morning before I left, around early evening, and nights before she’d go off to sleep. Of course at many times, there would be feeding on demand. But this routine helped me from getting too worked up, and since Ruhani wasn’t a fussy eater, it made things a little simpler for us. 4. Did nursing in public (NIP) come easily to you? Many mothers nurse on the go while babywearing too. Initially, I was definitely wary of NIP, though I am blessed that my family was totally okay with it throughout. It was after being a part of a few mommy groups perhaps, when I started perceiving it beyond my body being in an awkward position. I understood and began to believe that it is my baby’s right to have her primary source of food and nutrition. I realized that my usual attire, the kurtas that I wore were not really the most convenient things to nurse in. A loose T-shirt, or a short kurti worked well, along with a few front buttoned up shirts and gowns I wore. Now that I think about it, perhaps I would NIP more if I had a few more nursing-friendly clothes. Nursing in a baby carrier was very comfortable, and littlemissRu would be happily amused when we did so. Even in public, we would be totally discreet. But in these cases, having a deep neck, front open or nursing friendly clothes surely help. 5. You mentioned nursing till Ruhani turned 3 years. I am sure you were not spared the “well-meaning weaning advices. Tell us about it. My gynecologist and a few people here and there had casually mentioned that there was no ‘need’ to continue breastfeeding over 12 to 15 months. But I haven’t been a mother who goes by the books. I instinctively wanted to cherish the moments that my daughter loved as dearly as I. At times, it was obvious that she’d be nursing not because she is hungry, but because she loved to be on my lap. And looking at those eyes lit up, who could deny the child of something so basic, yet so powerful. Another reason, why we enjoyed the journey was that we could travel with ease. My partner and I love to travel, and Ru has been enjoying it as much. Thanks to breastfeeding, I knew that she would never go hungry or thirsty, as long as I was around. It was like always having backup food, as healthy and uncontaminated as can be. There were raised eyebrows at times, and curious questions, as to when I would wean her. But there is little that deters you if you are a mother, who is convinced that she knows what she is doing.
