Breastfeeding and Babywearing save the day!: Breastfeeding Journey
Akshaya Abhilash is a teacher by profession but quit immediately after having her baby as she did not want to miss out on enjoying her baby’s formative years. She was always keen on doing something from home as that would keep her busy and allow her to be around her little one too. Akshaya now runs a small business of handloom sarees (from home) and also teaches the most dreaded saree-draping, Akshaya Drapes – all with the baby in tow. Breastfeeding and babywearing has only made it easier for them rather than difficult. 1. Akshaya, how do you manage to teach saree draping and nurse the baby at the same time? Saree draping is something I teach at home and I connect to clients through my page drapes and more. If I have to breastfeed her while attending to a client I do so. It rarely happens as she’s 16 months old now and doesn’t nurse that often. I usually wear her on my back and attend to clients, and the session is a breeze. If she does want to nurse, I wear her in the front and nurse. Our work does not stop. Recently, we also organised Pune’s first babywearing FlashMob, all with the support of fellow babywearing moms and the only thing that helped me is the fact that I still nurse her. We nursed before, after and even during the practice sessions! 2. How prepared were you with the idea of breastfeeding and doing it in real Breastfeeding to me wasn’t just nourishing my child. It was about the emotional connection more than anything else. Every time I pictured myself as a mother I’d have a mental image of me nursing my baby. When I conceived, I read up on the benefits and was determined to breastfeed my child successfully. My paternal grandmother was a huge support for me (she passed away recently) and so is my husband. I delivered my daughter via c-section in a small nursing home and the nurses there although helpful, misinformed us. They had to help me initially to help nurse her as I couldn’t sit up so they used to time the feeds. After 10 minutes they’d say that’s enough and make her burp and take her away. I found it dissatisfying. She would wake up crying frequently and they forced formula saying your milk hasn’t come in. I objected strongly as I could feel my breasts getting engorged and leaking right from the second day of giving birth. I complained to the doctor and by then I could get up and sit. So I stopped the nurses from taking my baby away. I let her nurse as long as she wanted so she would be satisfied and top feeds weren’t required at all. Husband helped me a lot in this. We did have our share of issues such as cracked nipples, engorgement and latching issues. Latching issues were due to my oversupply. She would refuse to nurse from my right breast and I had to express a little then try to latch her. I even tried feeding her lying flat on my back with her on me. This continued till 5 months and was fine once my supply was established. I had read up a lot, and still do, so I knew it was just a phase that we would get through. 3. Did you have an issue with supply? While there are some genuine cases of difficulty, how difficult do you think is breastfeeding? A lot of people tried to convince me of having low supply, and I ended up having food items (shatavari, leafy veggies) to increase my milk and I ended up struggling with oversupply. I used to leak buckets and was engorged all the time. In reality, there is no supply issue. Every newborn nurses round the clock. Nursing continuously is what sets your supply for the baby. But due to a lot of misinformation out there, a lot of new mothers fall into the formula trap. Breastfeeding is not difficult but it’s a skill that needs guidance. It’s something that comes naturally and all that a.new mom needs is someone to hold her hand and say “You’re doing a good job! I’m here, don’t worry. This is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. Don’t give up.” 4. I try to ask this in most interviews, as we get to hear a new thing every single time. So, what are the myths of breastfeeding that you have been fed with? — The low supply myth is quite common and thrown at a new mother by every second person. Only when my daughter put on some weight, people stopped discussing my supply. — Breastfed babies dont eat solids. My baby is 16 months old and nurses on demand. She is an extremely adventurous eater and is game for trying any new food item you give her. She balances solids and breastmilk perfectly and doesn’t let it affect her appetite for food. — Since she is breastfed she is clingy. My baby got stranger anxiety early at 6 months and people were ready to jump at my throat that it was due to me nursing her. Apparently, she wasn’t going to anybody because she was breastfeeding. (Whatever that really meant) Every baby goes through periods and phases of stranger anxiety and that is just normal. Breastfed or otherwise, all babies need their mother. There is no two ways about that. — Breastfeeding is embarrassing and difficult when outside. I find that breastfed babies are extremely travel friendly and even if I don’t carry a snack for her or she doesn’t want to have something outside, I know my baby won’t be hungry as she has breastmilk to nourish her. Even before she was born I was prepared with nursing wear to nurse in public (NIP). Initially, I did struggle with it being discreet and fumbled with nursing aprons but slowly got the hang of
A fighter who has seen it all!: Breastfeeding Journey
A 33-year old mommy, homeopath by qualification, Vandana is an artist at heart, a do-it-yourself mumma, One Pot One Shot (OPOS) fan and a Reiki Healer. Truly a gifted artist, you can find all her amazing creations on her page, Rollipolli. 1. Vandana, we heard you had a difficult pregnancy. Would you like to tell us a little about it?I am a 33-year old mommy, homeopath by qualification, and was practising till I conceived. I have always been underweight and by personal choice I postponed my pregnancy till I could gain some decent weight. Although I dint gain any weight, I did manage to conceive at 33kgs. My gynaecologist was horrified as she believed underweight pregnancies are too risky. Honestly, I was also terrified initially due to the death of a cousin during childbirth (she was underweight too). I feared the same would happen to me and lived in denial for the longest time. Thankfully, family and friends made me believe that I would live and my cousin’s was a one-off case. From the first month onward, I struggled with severe morning sickness. Eating was a task and I was happy to see the numbers increasing on the weighing machine. I always thought I would work through my pregnancy, but my health did not allow me to so I stuck to reading in bed. By the 5th month, I suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and a horrible nonstop backache as the baby was growing and couldn’t accommodate in my small body. My spine was almost bent at one point. I couldn’t manage alone anymore. I was in and out of the hospital every 2 weeks due to nonstop vomiting. At 6 months, I was 40kgs, but I began to lose weight again and the fear of death returned. The back pains felt like labor pains, and I would stand the entire day. Each passing day was a struggle and it was only getting worse with the unwanted advice from relatives. Panic attacks set in and I fell into huge depression. Psychiatric drugs were started in the 7th month. The initial days felt normal and I slept for 2-3 hours with sedatives but after a point that stopped working too. By the end of the 7th month, I was sure I wasn’t going to make it and said my goodbyes to everyone who visited me in the hospital. On the last day of the 7th month, I broke down in the hospital. I cried inconsolably and kept pleading to the doctors to save me as the pains were unbearable. That’s when my gynaecologist decided to have my delivery. A scan was done to check for the baby’s viability. The placental insufficiency was huge due to zero food intakes and I was rushed for an emergency cesarean. Inside the operation theatre, I eagerly waited for that epidural shot. When I got the shot, I was pain-free and wanted to stay under the epidural effect forever. My baby was born at 32 weeks with a weight of 1.6kgs. He had a little difficulty in breathing so was shifted to the NICU for care and observation. I was shocked when I saw him the first time. He was fragile; as tiny as a mouse. There was no love at first sight. I felt so fragile myself that I was sure I wouldn’t be able to take care of him. I felt like running away from everything. Severe Post-Partum Depression (PPD) had set in. 2. I can’t fathom the pain mentally and physically you have been through. I am truly sorry you had to go through that. PPD plays an important role in the breastfeeding journey. How was it for you?Since the baby was weak, he was unable to latch directly. I was asked to express milk and send it to the NICU. I knew nothing about breastfeeding or electric pumps as I had left reading in the 5th month. Hubby got me a manual pump but I found it really hard to express as my hands hurt from weakness. The stress of expressing with manual pump and PPD made me give up on breastfeeding even before it could start. Manav was put on formula immediately. He was fed with a syringe as all other methods failed and we came home with a tiny baby. I don’t even remember loving him in the early days. I would just sit and stare at the wall, cry or talk nonsense. I had become suicidal. My back pain was gone and I thought I would finally sleep. But unfortunately, due to the sedatives I couldn’t fall asleep. I ended up taking more psychiatric drugs. I would have small periods of lucid interval where I would feel normal and that’s when I tried pumping for the baby. There was very little milk in my breasts. Visitors did not have anything nice to say. My depression worsened and I had thoughts of killing my baby. My husband, who was being strong and supporting me for so long, broke down at this stage. That broke me as I saw him cry for the first time. And I decided to get a hold of myself and take control. The first thing I did was packed off the not-so-helpful relatives. Next, I just stopped all the drugs at once as they weren’t helping much. Although mechanically, I did everything myself for Manav. Started reading and connecting with friends and anyone who could help me and guide me. By 2 months of the baby’s age, my chest had become completely dry as I didn’t pump regularly and the psychiatric drugs had suppressed the milk hormones. I tried hard with the manual pump and failed miserably as it was hard. 3. When did you begin to bond with Manav?Babywearing helped me overcome my depression. It is true. My wrap was a boon. When I wrapped Manav on my chest for the first time at 40 days; that was the first time I felt love towards him. I
Different passions, hand-in hand!: Breastfeeding Journey
1. Gauri, although I should be asking your friends this question as I believe you are a rare gem, I am going to let you tell us about yourself. By birth I am a Punekar and so is my baby Hulk, with love we call him Rudra. I was already working as a customer care representative in a BPO while doing my graduation. The angry customers helped me develop my patience which I think is of utmost importance in motherhood. The 9-year old corporate world journey was challenging and exciting and I quit as a Sr. Team Manager handling a highly technical team. I quit the corporate world to help my brother setup his e-commerce business. In the meanwhile, I never let go of my passion – Photography. I have even launched my own Photography Freelance business partnered with my dear friend Uma Sukhdeve. I came to know of my pregnancy during this period and due to health issues, I decided not to work till little Hulk comes out and says “Hello”. He is now 7 months old and I have no idea where the 7 months flew by. He is growing up too fast. 2. How has the start of your breastfeeding journey been? Mine was a C-Section delivery. Rudra was born 22 days prior to the delivery date. On day 1, he was completely on formula feed. From day 2, we started breast feeding attempts. While we struggled the first 3 days, I felt he got the required milk by the 4th day. My nipples were flat so we had to use a silicon nipple for the baby to suckle as he was unable to latch on to the nipples otherwise. I started developing cracks and the nipples got sore day after day to the extent where the pain was unbearable. It was like a piranha was biting them off during every feeding session. I tried different creams suggested by the paediatrician, my own milk before and after every feed, but nothing helped. Rudra was on 50% formula feed due to this and was not gaining enough weight. This pushed me to stop formula feed and bring him back to the breast as soon as possible as it was affecting his growth. I kept increasing the time for breastfeeding while I slowly reduced formula. As the days passed, I got used to the pain and the nipples too started healing slowly. Formula was out after 1.5 months. There was no looking back after that and I successfully breastfed exclusively till he completed 6 months. While we have slowly introduced him to different solid foods, he is definitely getting his magic potion till he turns 2. 3. A lot of people give up because it is overwhelming. How challenging was it to bring the baby back to the breast? Rudra never liked formula feed. He was always keen to latch on and suckle his way to his food. I guess that worked in our favor and the formula weaning, although slow, did not feel like a task. He weaned himself off the formula by refusing to take it once he started getting enough breast milk. 4. What are the myths that you have heard about breastfeeding? The myths are never ending. Everyone has a new myth related to breastfeeding. Everybody turns into an expert overnight. While I can write a book on it, I will give you my favourites: #1. “Do not look at the baby’s face when you breast feed.” Like seriously? #2. “Do not eat while you breast feed.” Why? What is going to happen? #3. This one is hilarious. “Remove a little milk when you come home from outside before feeding or else the baby will fall sick”. I laughed so much that I swear little pee came out. 5. Photography seems to be your passion! Has it been difficult because you need to breastfeed your baby? Photography is my passion and nothing can stop me from clicking happy moments, one of whose is Rudra. I started clicking almost immediately after I got back home post-delivery. I never thought breastfeeding would be a “problem” and trust me it is not. I can feed my baby where ever I want. I have fed him sitting in our hall while watching television surrounded by male members of the family. I have breastfed him inside the security-check area at the airport, in a wedding house full of guests (men, women and children). I have breastfed him sitting down, standing up and lying down. I have now bought an ergonomic baby carrier for him and it is like a blessing when it comes to feeding him in public. I am still trying to perfect it but I am sure I’ll get the hang of it soon. So in reality, breastfeeding does not stop you from pursuing your passion, or just going shopping. In fact, life is so much easier if you let go of your inhibitions related to breastfeeding. Which is why, I am going to restart my career and as the first step, I have launched my venture, Picture This! Rudra will be assisting me at all my shoots, and irrespective of the time, situation or location, nothing stops him from getting his magic potion. I would like to sign-off by saying that a lot of us face similar issues (although we are made to feel like aliens!). You should just join support groups to get the right research-based help. One such group I would like to recommend is Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). All my queries got sorted by just reading the posts there. Happy BreastFeeding! Cheers to all the mothers!
Journey with the twins!: Breastfeeding Journey
Daisy was working in the Call Centre industry as a soft skills and process trainer for over 6 years when she got to know she was pregnant with twins. She says, “I loved every bit of my job and like most others I thought I’d get back to work once the babies would be 6 months. But the minute I saw them, I knew there was no turning back. I realised I wanted and need to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM).” Daisy maintains that she has huge respect for working moms but has never regretted her decision. She believes that for her situation she made the right choice. She may or may not work in the future but for now she is happy being a SAHM to her 2.7 year old angels.
Decisions I don’t regret: Breastfeeding Journey
Kirthigadevi hails from a small town in the southern part of Tamil Nadu. With a Masters degree in Engineering, she was offered an amazing opportunity in her dream project in embedded system technologies. But she chose to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) to her two beautiful daughters, aged 2.8 years and 7 months. She says, “It was a decision that was easy to make, and certainly one that I do not regret. I love being around them. There is no time to miss anything else.” How long have you been nursing your child(ren)? I nursed my first daughter till she was 20 months old. I got to know I was pregnant with my 2nd child when she was 16 months. Although, I did read that it was alright to nurse even when pregnant, due to certain complications in my pregnancy, I was advised to wean her. It was a slow process because I did not want it to have an adverse effect on her or her psychology. After all she was too small to understand the situation. She was gently weaned through 4 months. Currently, I am nursing my second baby. Do you breastfeed your second child in front of your older daughter? How does she take to it? Yes, of course! Breastfeeding is natural, why should I hide it from her. Initially she wanted to be fed too and I was ready to tandem feed. But I guess somewhere she thought it was the little one’s food and hence would just act as though she was nursing but did not take to it. In fact, now when she hears the little one crying she forces me to nurse her. I love seeing them like this. It is so beautiful. Have you ever had to face pressure from family members to wean any of your children? It is sad to see how there is a lot of wrong information out there because of which a lot of new mothers are forced to wean very early or choose formula. I wish things change for the better. I think I am very lucky. I have been blessed with a very understanding family. I am not even considering weaning my daughter soon. I still feel bad for weaning my older daughter quite early and I want to let my second one decide and choose when to wean. Nothing can replace the comfort the mother and child feels when breastfeeding. Tell us about your experience of nursing in public (NIP). Honestly, I was a little awkward in the beginning and the stares would make me feel uncomfortable. My mom is my pillar of support. She kept telling me that it is normal and I should not let what others think affect me. What matters is the baby and its needs. And I realised, it’s common in our society. From then it has been a breeze. I have nursed in public with confidence – cars, temples, marriage halls, malls, hospitals, hotels – everywhere. Thank you for taking out time to share with us your beautiful breastfeeding journey. We would like to wish you a wonderful journey ahead. Anything else that you would like to add? I would tell every new mother to nurse in public with confidence. We need to normalise it. We need to change how people think of and look at breastfeeding mothers.
