And yes, we persisted!: Breastfeeding Journey
Chetana Ajit is a La Leche League Leader and a Certified Lactation Educator Counselor. She is passionate about helping, supporting mothers and babies figure out breastfeeding. She has two children- Disha is 7 years and recently self-weaned. Tamia is 2.5 years and their nursing relationship is going strong. In her spare time, she helps out as an admin in Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) Facebook group. She homeschools her children and is an advocate of natural childbirth. I was fast asleep. Something soft was pressing against my face. I tried to brush it away, only to realize that it was my daughter’s stomach. Her head was on my chest, blissfully breastfeeding upside down. I then flipped her, snuggled close and went right back to sleep. 1. How prepared were you for breastfeeding immediately after childbirth? Were you able to nurse your baby immediately? I took breastfeeding for granted while I was pregnant. My mind was wandering when the instructor in the childbirth class was explaining about pumps and feeding bottles. How could anyone feed their baby in plastic bottles, when they have two perfect body parts designed just to do that? At about 37 weeks of pregnancy, I was diagnosed with Intra-Uterine Growth Disorder (IUGR). I went for an ultrasound and was told that my baby is not growing well. After my midwife (my primary care giver) consulted with the doctor, she suggested that it would be best to induce labor. Our concern for our baby took over and we agreed to everything she recommended. I later found out that for most women with IUGR, the prescribed treatment is bed rest and eating highly nutritious food. Unfortunately, at that time we were unaware of these options. In retrospect, I should have questioned my midwife about it. But it was also her responsibility to give me options and help me make an informed decision. After being induced, my daughter was born vaginally in a freestanding natural birthing center. She was 1.98 kgs at birth and was declared Small for Gestational Age (SGA). SGA babies typically have trouble maintaining normal body temperature. She was immediately transferred to a Neonatal ICU (NICU). And her first food was drops of formula and not the perfect food that was waiting for her, made just for her. 2. What was your reaction when you heard of the baby being fed formula? Formula was a forced option. Our whole world started spiraling downhill. I remember being very angry and feeling betrayed when I found about kangaroo care. It is a technique practiced on a newborn, usually preterm, infants wherein the infant is held, skin-to-skin, with an adult. Kangaroo care, named for the similarity to how certain marsupials carry their young, was initially developed to care for preterm infants in areas where incubators are either unavailable or unreliable. It is a natural, baby-mother friendly way to help maintain body temperature. After a reasonably gentle, natural birth outside the hospital, without painkillers, without unnecessary interventions, our daughter was lying in an incubator, with tubes sticking out and wires running through her tiny body. The system functioned precisely as it was designed to – force-feeding technology and blind trust in expert opinion as opposed to nature-given care perfected over generations. Why weren’t we informed about our choices when she spent one week in the NICU, when I was struggling with pumping? When I was confused after her doctor told us that the only way we could take her home was if they could measure and declare that she was “eating” well? Here, the “eating” meant guzzling up formula from a plastic bottle, with a plastic nipple. This was a very vulnerable phase in our lives and it came as a shock to me that my daughter was getting formula. But I so badly wanted to be at home with my baby that I convinced myself that her getting a few more bottles of formula is okay and we can just get back to breastfeeding once this ordeal is over. 3. Since breast milk supply is generated through demand, how were you maintaining your supply? Were you allowed to provide the baby with pumped milk? Time at the NICU was very stressful for all of us. I was forced out of the hospital room after just a day. We ended up renting a room at the hotel inside the hospital premises just to be close to her. I made trips from the hotel room to the NICU every two hours to hold and nurse my baby. In the time spent away from NICU, I was pumping to make sure that I would be able to breastfeed later. I was tired, emotional and distraught. But for a week we kept up this routine, in the hope that our daughter will be home soon. On one of the NICU trips, I spotted a pacifier in my daughter’s mouth although we had made it very clear that we did not want it. I was mad! There were Lactation Consultants (IBCLCs) at the hospital, but two sessions with them left me feeling even more helpless and drained. By this time, our daughter was having a lot of formula and hardly any breast milk. The hospital grade pump I was using was not as effective as she would have been, had we been allowed to nurse round the clock. A close friend who had an older nursing daughter pumped and sent us her breast milk. I was grateful that she would be getting less formula and more breast milk. But due to strong opposition from my family I had to stop giving her that precious milk. I wish I had not, but exhaustion coupled with confusion led to this decision. 4. Its very sad to see how some hospitals are hand in glove with the formula companies. What a difficult experience it must have been! And I am guessing, the ordeal had just begun? Once we finally got her home, I was determined more than
Two journeys, two continents, Enriching!: Breastfeeding Journey
Asha DSouza is a Stay at Home Mum (SAHM) of two, daughter aged 6 years old and son aged 21 months. She has done her post-graduation in Business Administration. Asha was a Background screening and Information Security professional before she had kids. She is currently a co-admin on one of the largest breastfeeding support group, Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). 1.Asha, tell us about your experience with the first latch. My daughter was born in Bangalore in 2011. I had a severe case of hyperemsis gravidarum until the 8th month of my pregnancy. It was so bad that I could not even keep my own saliva down and my esophagus had corroded due to the constant vomiting. I was forced to leave my job as my health condition did not permit me to continue and have been a SAHM ever since. My daughter was born vaginally on her due date. The staff at St. Philomena’s hospital, Bangalore, where she was born (it was the same hospital I was born as well!) was quite supportive throughout my pregnancy and my breastfeeding journey. My daughter latched on within half hour of birth and there was no looking back. I had initial issues with the latch and positioning, but the lactation counsellor (LC) at the hospital guided me well. At no point was formula suggested and for that I am grateful. I’m glad I changed hospitals early on my pregnancy. 2. It’s amazing to have found a very supportive hospital during your pregnancy and delivery. Was the same support extended by your daughter’s paediatrician too? On my daughters 6 week checkup, the first paediatrician who weighed her felt I needed to top her up with formula as her weight gain wasn’t satisfactory. It was a big blow as all I did was breastfeed my daughter; her pee and poop count were good as well. My mother was very supportive and assured me that it wasn’t needed. Nevertheless, I had constant doubts and bought a can of formula. When I offered it to my daughter she promptly threw it up. I resolved to change paediatricians and I found one recommended by a friend. He assured me that my baby is doing fine and top-ups aren’t necessary. I threw the can of formula and proceeded to exclusively breastfeed (EBF) my daughter until she was 6 months. 3. The WHO and most doctors now strictly advice breastfeeding till the first 6 months. But unfortunately, till a few years back, a lot of new parents were easily pressurised into starting solids as early as 3 months. Did you feel the heat too? I was pressurised by “well meaning people” to start solids/cows milk at 3 months as my milk “won’t be enough”. At that time, support groups were not in existence or I wasn’t aware of any; I did not own a smart phone either. I had not researched anything about breastfeeding during my pregnancy as the thought did not even occur to me. Most of what I followed was based on my instincts. I chanced upon Kellymom when my daughter was a couple of months old and that became my breastfeeding bible. 4. Breastfeeding, although the most natural thing, comes with its own set of struggles. How was it for you? Breastfeeding was a very lonely journey, there wasn’t even a smart phone for entertainment so I read books while I breastfed. I learnt the art of lying down and nursing only when my daughter was about 4 months old. It was a saviour since, and I wished I had known it existed earlier. Prior to that, I was constantly sleep deprived with all the night waking. Also, for someone who struggles with back issues, sitting up and nursing was a nightmare. My daughter would refuse to go to my husband at nights so I stayed up and recited songs in my head so that I don’t fall asleep. Unfortunately, my daughter hated sleeping and still does. She would not nap for more than 10 minutes at a stretch. Once solids were started at 6 months, things didn’t change much, she preferred breast milk to solids and it continued well into her second year. My husband gifted me my first smart phone when my daughter was 10 months old, on our wedding anniversary. I was able to research more easily then. After 2 years of breastfeeding, I had enough and desperately wanted to wean her especially at night. All my attempts were futile and I did not have the heart to see her cry so much. I started accepting the situation and was assured by my parents that she will wean when she is ready (I myself weaned at 4 years of age). 5. The WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years of breastfeeding. How old was your daughter when she weaned? Tell us a little about extended breastfeeding. At 3.1 years, my daughter night weaned. When she was 3.4 years old we moved to Australia; and at 3.8 years she completely weaned. Her last feed to go was the morning after wake up. She never asked for it again. This made me feel very sad and I was afraid of losing that precious bonding. But we connected in so many other ways; I co-sleep with both my children. I hadn’t met any other mums who were breastfeeding older children. I wasn’t ashamed to tell people I did but many a times came across expressions of shock, amusement and even disgust. Someone close even remarked that my breasts would start sagging bad and my daughter would get too dependent on me. It only strengthened my resolve to continue on our journey. Breastfeeding comforted my daughter, it also forced me to pause and smell the roses. 6. Your son’s delivery was a little hard on you guys. Tell us more. Two months after my daughter weaned I fell pregnant with my son. I had severe nausea throughout the pregnancy but never the same as with my daughter. Life
Determination is all it takes to push your limits!: Breastfeeding Journey
Charulatha, lovingly known as Charu, is a software Engineer with Intel Technology in Bangalore. She loves travelling and is on the move with her kids, at regular intervals. When she is not at work, she spends her time reading to her kids or planning for the next trip. Charu conceived with medical intervention after 8yrs of marriage and is blessed with twins, a boy and a girl, now 4.5yrs. She is an admin on the Breastfeeding Support for Moms of Multiples India (BSMMI) and Truly Spooky Facebook groups. 1.A lot of mothers, due to various reasons, struggle to nurse one baby. How was it for you with two premature babies? My babies were born at 31 weeks and immediately shifted to the NICU in another hospital. I was just a kilometre away, unaware and happily waiting for them to get well so I could go home soon. Back then, I was quite naive about everything. I believed that they’re kept in the incubator and it would be as safe as the mother’s womb; they are being fed and they will be out in probably 2 days and we will go home and our breastfeeding journey will begin. I did not even know the importance of expressing or pumping till then. Fortunately, my delivery doctor and the NICU head kept pushing me to express breast milk. I tried, but I had no idea about how to express and what was expected. Nothing came. The 20-year old nurses, although were always ready to help, it was unfortunate that they didn’t know it themselves. They kept squeezing my breasts but their technique left me in severe pain and with no milk. 2. All of that sounds so devastating. So, when were you able to feed your children? My breasts were engorged and the pain was unbearable and that made it more difficult to express. On the third day, my daughter got jaundice and the NICU doctor said that even a few ml of breast milk would help her get better. I knew I had to do this and I was ready to do whatever it takes. I didn’t even believe I had milk as none of the previous methods to express were fruitful. I waited for my delivery doctor to come and prove to me that I was lactating. When she pressed the breast, the milk began to flow and I was ecstatic. I learnt the technique from her and expressed oddly 10ml of liquid gold. And that was fed to my daughter. My breastfeeding journey began that night. My sister and a very dear friend mentioned that milk comes as the baby sucks or only if I express for their needs. I kept trying the whole night. I was able to get 30ml of milk. I expressed every two hours and each session lasted for 2 hours, all with my hands. I wish someone had educated me about pumps. The nights were exhausting as I was only expressing with no sleep. I, finally, met my babies on the fourth day. They were both on ventilators and while their struggle to breathe was over, they were still trying to cope with the outside world. 3. Did you do not try to bring your babies to the breast? My twins used to vomit on my breast every time I nursed them directly as they were diagnosed with Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) and their guts were still developing. Their sucking caused chillness allergies in me as I was on it for almost the entire day. One day I developed high fever and then I stopped trying. In addition, the misunderstanding that my son might not be leaving enough for my daughter turned me into a paranoid mother worried for her daughter’s growth. I had a supportive paediatrician but I still had my doubts. Expressing made me feel more comfortable as it was convenient and I was also aware of each baby’s intake. It was exclusive pumping for me for 21 months. I was able to pump 1.4l of milk a day until 1 year and then 1l a day until the 18th month. During the 18th month, my kids were hospitalised which led to drastic reduction in pumping sessions. That in turn affected my supply. Between the 18th and the 21st month, I got just about 10ml of milk after half an hour’s pumping session. The nurses at the NICU suggested a 20 minute limit and an every two hour feed. My kids were NICU graduates. Hence, the two-hour schedule was programmed. Because of express feeding, the bottle time was just 2 minutes for my son since the beginning and my daughter would take 5 minutes. The schedule for direct nursing and bottle feeding is different. I tried power pumping in the hope to bring back my supply but I was already obese and was on hormonal pills and that too had an effect on my supply. 4. How did you manage to pump when you went back to office? My previous employer (Texas Instruments) and my current one (Intel) are amongst the best women friendly employers in the world. The companies have a luxurious baby care room that provides facilities for pumping and other necessities. I stored the milk in the fridge and on my way back home I used freezer packs. That was a blessing. 5. Over the course of time, we hear so many myths that we swing from being frustrated to laughing at it. Have you been affected by these myths as you were quite unaware as a first time mom? I was told that babies don’t understand anything as they are small. When I was pregnant, I used to talk to my babies – through words and thoughts. I had a small fight with husband for which I raised my voice. For the next 2 days, my son stopped kicking and moving in the womb. He is the same at 4.5 years. In the NICU, I was shocked to see my babies –
Set small targets & watch years go by!: Breastfeeding Journey
Dhanya M.A is a post graduate and worked for 5 years before conceiving her first born. She continued working outside home for another 6 years till her 2nd was almost 1. She then took a 2 years break and got back to work last year. Dhanya is a very active member of the Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) facebook group and with other members, organizes events and gatherings for mothers and families to spread awareness about breastfeeding. 1.You have two lovely daughters. We would like to hear about your breastfeeding journey with both of them. The first time around I had no clue. Nobody told me what I might face. It was taken for granted – that it would just happen and be smooth! Reality was far from it. I struggled for almost 1.5 months hurting at each feed and not getting the right latch. Then we struggled with Cow’s Milk Protein (CMP) intolerance. During this period, the only thing I was sure of is that I wanted to breastfeed her exclusively for 6 months and continue till at least 2 years. I was particular I wouldn’t opt for artificial milk, unless there is a medical need to. My older self-weaned at 2.5 years. Though she was the one who decided to stop, looking back, I now feel I did contribute to her stopping in some ways. I wasn’t aware of not dropping feeds before the 1 year mark or to feed on demand till 2. So I guess I did end up encouraging her to wean, which I regret now. Surprisingly, it still wasn’t smooth even with the second one even though I had read a lot, when it came to the real thing I still had my struggles but at least I knew to visit a lactation consultant right on the 3rd day. I also got a lot of support and encouragement from the BSIM group. I dint drop feeds till she was past 1. I did not stop the night feeds till she was past 2. Today, we continue to feed and I don’t care when she will stop. She will listen to her body to stop when she no longer needs it. It has always been comforting through all the growth spurts, milestones, teething, sickness, new surroundings, new people – BF solves it all 🙂 2. You went back to work when your first child was 7 months. How did you manage when the baby is nursing on demand and has just started solids? She would still need breastmilk, right? I always nursed lying down so that was a big relief. With my first born, I wasn’t aware that I shouldn’t drop feeds till 1, so she was mainly on solids for the 8 hrs that I was away but after I returned she would direct feed every 2 hrs. She didn’t wake much at nights – 1 or 2 feeds max at night. She also fed before I left for work. With my second, I returned to work when she was 3.5 years. So it’s only before bed feeds now. She still feeds like a baby when she is sick sometimes. I think learning to nurse lying down makes a big difference. You can rest while the baby’s feeds continue un-altered. 3. How difficult is breastfeeding? Did you ever want to give up? I will not build a rosy picture. It’s very tough the initial few weeks but having someone to help with other chores, someone you can talk to, someone who will support you makes it much easier. Once you and your baby have got the hang of it, it’s pretty smooth. There are periods of craziness – during growth spurts, teething etc but without BF, these phases are more difficult to deal with. I cried and I cursed around growth spurts but somehow the thought to give up never crossed my mind! I am thankful for that. 4. Most mothers are asked to wean as soon as the baby turns a year old. Your younger daughter is 3.5 years and you both are doing awesome! Have you had the pressure to wean? Do you think it’s going to be difficult to wean her later? I don’t believe things said very easily. I like to read up and do my own research before I reach a conclusion. I have had people tell me to wean before 2 years as it will be difficult later. Of course they do wean! I have never known or heard of a breastfeeding teenager :). Self-weaning occurs between the ages of 3-7. Most wean when they lose their latch once the milk teeth fall. But thankfully I have had to hear all of that only the first time. Now, I think they know I am not going to listen to them. And my family has been very pro-BF too. My hubby is very encouraging of BF even in public. He believes BF has made a big difference in the health of our kids. 5. A lot of paediatricians suggest timing the feeds and to not nurse before a gap of 2 hours. Is it really necessary to set limits for nursing babies – younger or older? Don’t watch the clock for a baby younger than a year old. Watch your baby instead. The initial few weeks they are feeding round the clock and that is normal. It is important to nurse on demand to set the supply. We started setting limits after she completed 1 but I was still feeding on demand mostly – at least 4-5 times a day. At around 2.2 years, I followed the Jay Gordon methods to night wean. She herself ended up dropping feeds and we are down to 1 feed now. Even those she sometimes refuses. There are days when I am tired and I refuse (explaining to her why) and she understands and there are no tantrums. I think it gets easier as they grow, because they understand when you explain. If
Nurse on demand, always!: Breastfeeding Journey
Srividya Sriram did her Engineering in Computer science and was working as a technical consultant before marriage. Post wedding, she quit her job as she had to join her husband abroad soon after. They had their son after 2 years of marriage and she didn’t want to look back at the corporate world. She had read about the benefits of reading early to children and the hunt for books for her little one ended up in starting an online business in books for kids. Eat Play Read (EPR) was born and the journey has been beautiful. If you are looking for books for your kids, do check out her website – www.eatplayread.in. 1. Tell us about your breastfeeding journey, Srividya. I had an extremely difficult start. It was a C-sec delivery and my supply didn’t start till 3 days after surgery. I kept latching him but I knew he wasn’t getting enough. He was fussy all the time and lost weight. His paediatrician scared us by saying that he was starving and we had to give formula a few times. And reluctantly, I had to give in but I can’t explain my joy when breast milk finally kicked in after 3 days. Unfortunately, he was too used to formula by then and wasn’t ready to latch. 2. How did you work around eliminating formula? It was a process of elimination of formula and nipple shield at the same time! Thankfully the formula part wasn’t difficult as it was given only for 2 days till my flow had set in. He took to the breast immediately. When I was struggling with getting him to latch, a “wise” nurse suggested nipple shield. He began to latch and was doing better with it but as days passed by, the sterilising of shields and the pain I had to undergo with all the pulling through nipple shield was just unbearable! I still remember the day when my nipples were bruised and I could see some blood in my newborn’s mouth. So scary! That’s when I sought help from some breastfeeding support groups and the process to wean him off the shield began. Whenever I offered my breasts without the shield, he cried his lungs out and wasn’t ready to latch. I slowly replaced one feed at a time without the shield and he latched on directly one fine day after 2 long months. I was in happy tears! My baby’s soft warm mouth on my breasts was the best feeling ever! 3. Although, you work from home, your work must be keeping you really busy. So do you time your feeds? I have never timed his feeds and definitely not the right thing to do. It is important to feed on demand to ensure your supply is always maintained. When I started off, my son was really young and I had oversupply issues too. I used to pump and store so in case there was a situation, he would be fed the stored milk. Breastfeeding is a blessing as there is no preparation required. So while he was always fed on demand, work would still continue too. 4. How is your experience with nursing in public (NIP)? It has been a breeze till date. I still breastfeed my 2.5 year old in public. My amazing support system in my husband and family keeps me going. They are all on board with nursing on demand, irrespective of the place, and also with gentle weaning, whenever my son and I are ready. I have my baby carrier when I step out and nursing in a carrier is a blessing in disguise. I can’t imagine going out with an infant (or a toddler) if not breastfeeding in a carrier. It’s so discrete and gets easier once you master it. Ring sling is my go to carrier for nursing. Full buckles are quite convenient too! 5. When and if you have your second child, what will you do differently? I wish I had read up a lot during my pregnancy. Nobody tells you to do so and that’s the advice I have for all first time moms. Read up and join support groups during your pregnancy itself. You become more confident about your capabilities and nobody can deter you from giving in your best! Never ever give up! Breastfeeding is the most natural thing ever and it will just happen. Just put the baby to your breasts as much as possible and things will eventually fall in place. The second time around, I am going to try my best for a VBAC and definitely a big NO to nipple shields.
Breastfeeding and Babywearing save the day!: Breastfeeding Journey
Akshaya Abhilash is a teacher by profession but quit immediately after having her baby as she did not want to miss out on enjoying her baby’s formative years. She was always keen on doing something from home as that would keep her busy and allow her to be around her little one too. Akshaya now runs a small business of handloom sarees (from home) and also teaches the most dreaded saree-draping, Akshaya Drapes – all with the baby in tow. Breastfeeding and babywearing has only made it easier for them rather than difficult. 1. Akshaya, how do you manage to teach saree draping and nurse the baby at the same time? Saree draping is something I teach at home and I connect to clients through my page drapes and more. If I have to breastfeed her while attending to a client I do so. It rarely happens as she’s 16 months old now and doesn’t nurse that often. I usually wear her on my back and attend to clients, and the session is a breeze. If she does want to nurse, I wear her in the front and nurse. Our work does not stop. Recently, we also organised Pune’s first babywearing FlashMob, all with the support of fellow babywearing moms and the only thing that helped me is the fact that I still nurse her. We nursed before, after and even during the practice sessions! 2. How prepared were you with the idea of breastfeeding and doing it in real Breastfeeding to me wasn’t just nourishing my child. It was about the emotional connection more than anything else. Every time I pictured myself as a mother I’d have a mental image of me nursing my baby. When I conceived, I read up on the benefits and was determined to breastfeed my child successfully. My paternal grandmother was a huge support for me (she passed away recently) and so is my husband. I delivered my daughter via c-section in a small nursing home and the nurses there although helpful, misinformed us. They had to help me initially to help nurse her as I couldn’t sit up so they used to time the feeds. After 10 minutes they’d say that’s enough and make her burp and take her away. I found it dissatisfying. She would wake up crying frequently and they forced formula saying your milk hasn’t come in. I objected strongly as I could feel my breasts getting engorged and leaking right from the second day of giving birth. I complained to the doctor and by then I could get up and sit. So I stopped the nurses from taking my baby away. I let her nurse as long as she wanted so she would be satisfied and top feeds weren’t required at all. Husband helped me a lot in this. We did have our share of issues such as cracked nipples, engorgement and latching issues. Latching issues were due to my oversupply. She would refuse to nurse from my right breast and I had to express a little then try to latch her. I even tried feeding her lying flat on my back with her on me. This continued till 5 months and was fine once my supply was established. I had read up a lot, and still do, so I knew it was just a phase that we would get through. 3. Did you have an issue with supply? While there are some genuine cases of difficulty, how difficult do you think is breastfeeding? A lot of people tried to convince me of having low supply, and I ended up having food items (shatavari, leafy veggies) to increase my milk and I ended up struggling with oversupply. I used to leak buckets and was engorged all the time. In reality, there is no supply issue. Every newborn nurses round the clock. Nursing continuously is what sets your supply for the baby. But due to a lot of misinformation out there, a lot of new mothers fall into the formula trap. Breastfeeding is not difficult but it’s a skill that needs guidance. It’s something that comes naturally and all that a.new mom needs is someone to hold her hand and say “You’re doing a good job! I’m here, don’t worry. This is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. Don’t give up.” 4. I try to ask this in most interviews, as we get to hear a new thing every single time. So, what are the myths of breastfeeding that you have been fed with? — The low supply myth is quite common and thrown at a new mother by every second person. Only when my daughter put on some weight, people stopped discussing my supply. — Breastfed babies dont eat solids. My baby is 16 months old and nurses on demand. She is an extremely adventurous eater and is game for trying any new food item you give her. She balances solids and breastmilk perfectly and doesn’t let it affect her appetite for food. — Since she is breastfed she is clingy. My baby got stranger anxiety early at 6 months and people were ready to jump at my throat that it was due to me nursing her. Apparently, she wasn’t going to anybody because she was breastfeeding. (Whatever that really meant) Every baby goes through periods and phases of stranger anxiety and that is just normal. Breastfed or otherwise, all babies need their mother. There is no two ways about that. — Breastfeeding is embarrassing and difficult when outside. I find that breastfed babies are extremely travel friendly and even if I don’t carry a snack for her or she doesn’t want to have something outside, I know my baby won’t be hungry as she has breastmilk to nourish her. Even before she was born I was prepared with nursing wear to nurse in public (NIP). Initially, I did struggle with it being discreet and fumbled with nursing aprons but slowly got the hang of
A fighter who has seen it all!: Breastfeeding Journey
A 33-year old mommy, homeopath by qualification, Vandana is an artist at heart, a do-it-yourself mumma, One Pot One Shot (OPOS) fan and a Reiki Healer. Truly a gifted artist, you can find all her amazing creations on her page, Rollipolli. 1. Vandana, we heard you had a difficult pregnancy. Would you like to tell us a little about it?I am a 33-year old mommy, homeopath by qualification, and was practising till I conceived. I have always been underweight and by personal choice I postponed my pregnancy till I could gain some decent weight. Although I dint gain any weight, I did manage to conceive at 33kgs. My gynaecologist was horrified as she believed underweight pregnancies are too risky. Honestly, I was also terrified initially due to the death of a cousin during childbirth (she was underweight too). I feared the same would happen to me and lived in denial for the longest time. Thankfully, family and friends made me believe that I would live and my cousin’s was a one-off case. From the first month onward, I struggled with severe morning sickness. Eating was a task and I was happy to see the numbers increasing on the weighing machine. I always thought I would work through my pregnancy, but my health did not allow me to so I stuck to reading in bed. By the 5th month, I suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and a horrible nonstop backache as the baby was growing and couldn’t accommodate in my small body. My spine was almost bent at one point. I couldn’t manage alone anymore. I was in and out of the hospital every 2 weeks due to nonstop vomiting. At 6 months, I was 40kgs, but I began to lose weight again and the fear of death returned. The back pains felt like labor pains, and I would stand the entire day. Each passing day was a struggle and it was only getting worse with the unwanted advice from relatives. Panic attacks set in and I fell into huge depression. Psychiatric drugs were started in the 7th month. The initial days felt normal and I slept for 2-3 hours with sedatives but after a point that stopped working too. By the end of the 7th month, I was sure I wasn’t going to make it and said my goodbyes to everyone who visited me in the hospital. On the last day of the 7th month, I broke down in the hospital. I cried inconsolably and kept pleading to the doctors to save me as the pains were unbearable. That’s when my gynaecologist decided to have my delivery. A scan was done to check for the baby’s viability. The placental insufficiency was huge due to zero food intakes and I was rushed for an emergency cesarean. Inside the operation theatre, I eagerly waited for that epidural shot. When I got the shot, I was pain-free and wanted to stay under the epidural effect forever. My baby was born at 32 weeks with a weight of 1.6kgs. He had a little difficulty in breathing so was shifted to the NICU for care and observation. I was shocked when I saw him the first time. He was fragile; as tiny as a mouse. There was no love at first sight. I felt so fragile myself that I was sure I wouldn’t be able to take care of him. I felt like running away from everything. Severe Post-Partum Depression (PPD) had set in. 2. I can’t fathom the pain mentally and physically you have been through. I am truly sorry you had to go through that. PPD plays an important role in the breastfeeding journey. How was it for you?Since the baby was weak, he was unable to latch directly. I was asked to express milk and send it to the NICU. I knew nothing about breastfeeding or electric pumps as I had left reading in the 5th month. Hubby got me a manual pump but I found it really hard to express as my hands hurt from weakness. The stress of expressing with manual pump and PPD made me give up on breastfeeding even before it could start. Manav was put on formula immediately. He was fed with a syringe as all other methods failed and we came home with a tiny baby. I don’t even remember loving him in the early days. I would just sit and stare at the wall, cry or talk nonsense. I had become suicidal. My back pain was gone and I thought I would finally sleep. But unfortunately, due to the sedatives I couldn’t fall asleep. I ended up taking more psychiatric drugs. I would have small periods of lucid interval where I would feel normal and that’s when I tried pumping for the baby. There was very little milk in my breasts. Visitors did not have anything nice to say. My depression worsened and I had thoughts of killing my baby. My husband, who was being strong and supporting me for so long, broke down at this stage. That broke me as I saw him cry for the first time. And I decided to get a hold of myself and take control. The first thing I did was packed off the not-so-helpful relatives. Next, I just stopped all the drugs at once as they weren’t helping much. Although mechanically, I did everything myself for Manav. Started reading and connecting with friends and anyone who could help me and guide me. By 2 months of the baby’s age, my chest had become completely dry as I didn’t pump regularly and the psychiatric drugs had suppressed the milk hormones. I tried hard with the manual pump and failed miserably as it was hard. 3. When did you begin to bond with Manav?Babywearing helped me overcome my depression. It is true. My wrap was a boon. When I wrapped Manav on my chest for the first time at 40 days; that was the first time I felt love towards him. I
Different passions, hand-in hand!: Breastfeeding Journey
1. Gauri, although I should be asking your friends this question as I believe you are a rare gem, I am going to let you tell us about yourself. By birth I am a Punekar and so is my baby Hulk, with love we call him Rudra. I was already working as a customer care representative in a BPO while doing my graduation. The angry customers helped me develop my patience which I think is of utmost importance in motherhood. The 9-year old corporate world journey was challenging and exciting and I quit as a Sr. Team Manager handling a highly technical team. I quit the corporate world to help my brother setup his e-commerce business. In the meanwhile, I never let go of my passion – Photography. I have even launched my own Photography Freelance business partnered with my dear friend Uma Sukhdeve. I came to know of my pregnancy during this period and due to health issues, I decided not to work till little Hulk comes out and says “Hello”. He is now 7 months old and I have no idea where the 7 months flew by. He is growing up too fast. 2. How has the start of your breastfeeding journey been? Mine was a C-Section delivery. Rudra was born 22 days prior to the delivery date. On day 1, he was completely on formula feed. From day 2, we started breast feeding attempts. While we struggled the first 3 days, I felt he got the required milk by the 4th day. My nipples were flat so we had to use a silicon nipple for the baby to suckle as he was unable to latch on to the nipples otherwise. I started developing cracks and the nipples got sore day after day to the extent where the pain was unbearable. It was like a piranha was biting them off during every feeding session. I tried different creams suggested by the paediatrician, my own milk before and after every feed, but nothing helped. Rudra was on 50% formula feed due to this and was not gaining enough weight. This pushed me to stop formula feed and bring him back to the breast as soon as possible as it was affecting his growth. I kept increasing the time for breastfeeding while I slowly reduced formula. As the days passed, I got used to the pain and the nipples too started healing slowly. Formula was out after 1.5 months. There was no looking back after that and I successfully breastfed exclusively till he completed 6 months. While we have slowly introduced him to different solid foods, he is definitely getting his magic potion till he turns 2. 3. A lot of people give up because it is overwhelming. How challenging was it to bring the baby back to the breast? Rudra never liked formula feed. He was always keen to latch on and suckle his way to his food. I guess that worked in our favor and the formula weaning, although slow, did not feel like a task. He weaned himself off the formula by refusing to take it once he started getting enough breast milk. 4. What are the myths that you have heard about breastfeeding? The myths are never ending. Everyone has a new myth related to breastfeeding. Everybody turns into an expert overnight. While I can write a book on it, I will give you my favourites: #1. “Do not look at the baby’s face when you breast feed.” Like seriously? #2. “Do not eat while you breast feed.” Why? What is going to happen? #3. This one is hilarious. “Remove a little milk when you come home from outside before feeding or else the baby will fall sick”. I laughed so much that I swear little pee came out. 5. Photography seems to be your passion! Has it been difficult because you need to breastfeed your baby? Photography is my passion and nothing can stop me from clicking happy moments, one of whose is Rudra. I started clicking almost immediately after I got back home post-delivery. I never thought breastfeeding would be a “problem” and trust me it is not. I can feed my baby where ever I want. I have fed him sitting in our hall while watching television surrounded by male members of the family. I have breastfed him inside the security-check area at the airport, in a wedding house full of guests (men, women and children). I have breastfed him sitting down, standing up and lying down. I have now bought an ergonomic baby carrier for him and it is like a blessing when it comes to feeding him in public. I am still trying to perfect it but I am sure I’ll get the hang of it soon. So in reality, breastfeeding does not stop you from pursuing your passion, or just going shopping. In fact, life is so much easier if you let go of your inhibitions related to breastfeeding. Which is why, I am going to restart my career and as the first step, I have launched my venture, Picture This! Rudra will be assisting me at all my shoots, and irrespective of the time, situation or location, nothing stops him from getting his magic potion. I would like to sign-off by saying that a lot of us face similar issues (although we are made to feel like aliens!). You should just join support groups to get the right research-based help. One such group I would like to recommend is Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM). All my queries got sorted by just reading the posts there. Happy BreastFeeding! Cheers to all the mothers!
Decisions I don’t regret: Breastfeeding Journey
Kirthigadevi hails from a small town in the southern part of Tamil Nadu. With a Masters degree in Engineering, she was offered an amazing opportunity in her dream project in embedded system technologies. But she chose to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) to her two beautiful daughters, aged 2.8 years and 7 months. She says, “It was a decision that was easy to make, and certainly one that I do not regret. I love being around them. There is no time to miss anything else.” How long have you been nursing your child(ren)? I nursed my first daughter till she was 20 months old. I got to know I was pregnant with my 2nd child when she was 16 months. Although, I did read that it was alright to nurse even when pregnant, due to certain complications in my pregnancy, I was advised to wean her. It was a slow process because I did not want it to have an adverse effect on her or her psychology. After all she was too small to understand the situation. She was gently weaned through 4 months. Currently, I am nursing my second baby. Do you breastfeed your second child in front of your older daughter? How does she take to it? Yes, of course! Breastfeeding is natural, why should I hide it from her. Initially she wanted to be fed too and I was ready to tandem feed. But I guess somewhere she thought it was the little one’s food and hence would just act as though she was nursing but did not take to it. In fact, now when she hears the little one crying she forces me to nurse her. I love seeing them like this. It is so beautiful. Have you ever had to face pressure from family members to wean any of your children? It is sad to see how there is a lot of wrong information out there because of which a lot of new mothers are forced to wean very early or choose formula. I wish things change for the better. I think I am very lucky. I have been blessed with a very understanding family. I am not even considering weaning my daughter soon. I still feel bad for weaning my older daughter quite early and I want to let my second one decide and choose when to wean. Nothing can replace the comfort the mother and child feels when breastfeeding. Tell us about your experience of nursing in public (NIP). Honestly, I was a little awkward in the beginning and the stares would make me feel uncomfortable. My mom is my pillar of support. She kept telling me that it is normal and I should not let what others think affect me. What matters is the baby and its needs. And I realised, it’s common in our society. From then it has been a breeze. I have nursed in public with confidence – cars, temples, marriage halls, malls, hospitals, hotels – everywhere. Thank you for taking out time to share with us your beautiful breastfeeding journey. We would like to wish you a wonderful journey ahead. Anything else that you would like to add? I would tell every new mother to nurse in public with confidence. We need to normalise it. We need to change how people think of and look at breastfeeding mothers.
