We all know Rubeka as the make-up queen! Rubeka Almalik completed her masters in Hotel Management and worked as an Assistant Professor in the same college in Nagpur. A foodie and traveller, she says, “I hate the lockdown because I cannot wear makeup, travel and gorge on some yummy authentic local food.”
Post her wedding to a wonderful guy from Goa, they made the most adorable baby together and named him Avan.
1. Mothers who have given birth via c-section are often made to believe they don’t have milk till 5th and sometimes the 7th day too. You gave birth via an emergency c-section, before due date. What happened then?
My water had started leaking slowly 3 weeks before the due date. I was induced but did not dilate more than 4cms even after 18 hours. The baby’s heartbeat began to drop and a c-section was recommended.
When it came to breastfeeding – I had no clue. I just went with the flow. I didn’t even realise it was something I had to prepare for. Wasn’t it supposed to just happen naturally? Or, the doctors and nurses will definitely help me.
Breaks my heart even today. Forget consent, he was started on formula without any of us being informed. The only minute silver lining at that point was they fed him via spoon and not a bottle because we did not carry one due to the last-minute change in plan.
2. What happened when you regained consciousness after 6-7 hours post birth?
I started direct nursing from the next day. The Lactation Consultant at the hospital explained what the nipple and areola were and that I was to latch the baby onto the areola. She suddenly squeezed the life out of just my nipple and declared I did not have enough milk. So, the formula continued. Sitting up hurt a lot and at one point, don’t ask me how, the stitches came apart from the corner.
After going home, I bore the pain and continued to nurse him but totally unaware of what cluster feeding or growth spurts was, I formula fed him through that time. Thus, completely into the formula trap.
3. I am so sorry Rubeka. All that ill information around breastfeeding is devastating.
I wish I could say it ended there. On the 50th day, post birth, I had to undergo a surgery for piles. That phase was the toughest. The anaesthesia hit me hard – the backache, headache, antibiotics and painkillers – my supply was hampered. Breastfeeding sessions went down. I was helpless and gave in.
But like they say, once you start going down, you hit rock bottom before climbing back again.
4. Sounds promising. Tell us more.
It was my baby’s vaccination and we went to visit my pediatrician in another city. That’s right. The one who saved me from the last stage of pneumonia when I was 2.5 months old. He asked for the spoon feeder and formula. I handed it over assuming he was going to show me something I wasn’t aware of. Within a blink of an eye, all of it went flying into the dustbin.
He warned us, “Don’t you dare give him this or I will throw you all out of the cabin.” It may sound rude to a lot but I think I needed the jolt. It worked for me.
5. Yes, when so much is happening, we tend to forget what we are capable of. How was the journey then?
He gave me medicines to help boost my supply and asked me to latch every time the baby demanded. Drastic weaning of the formula led to dehydration and we had to restart formula for Avan.
Then, based on my assumption and watching the baby, I began reducing formula slowly. Couple of weeks later, the baby was done with formula and exclusively direct breastfeeding.
I came to know about Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM) when Avan was 6 months old. I wish I knew of them earlier. Nevertheless, they validated my weaning process and hand held us through all the phases – sleep deprivation, low supply, cluster feeding, rejections, aversions, growth spurts and so much more. They gave me the confidence that I did not go wrong with my decision to wean off formula.
They are the reason I could give it one last shot – and make it work too and how! At 2.5 years, we are having the best breastfeeding journey.
6. All those struggles would have definitely aggravated with all the judgement. How did you manage?
It was tough to handle those relatives who used to tell me I wasn’t making enough and starving my poor baby. There was apparently no glow on his face due to dehydration and many more unsolicited statements, judgements and advices.
BSIM taught me patience and tolerance. My son’s progress assured me that we are going to fight this battle together and come out with flying colors. At 7 months, he stood with support and without support at 8 months. He took his first step at 10.5 months, all by himself. I understand every baby meets their milestones when they are ready for it, but my son helped shut all those mouths.
7. And just when everything seemed to have fit right like the pieces of a puzzle, your family contracted Covid. How did you handle breastfeeding then in a nuclear setup?
On day one at my hospital job as a LC, I had contracted Covid. It started with high grade fever and like I was advising everyone on BSIM, I continued to nurse Avan. My husband was handling the rest of it for 2 days when he started a fever. My gut feeling told me it was Covid and the tests came back positive. My husband and son’s reports came back positive too.
Thanks to FITTR, we were able to maintain a healthy diet and workout for 5-10 minutes every day. It made a difference. Avan was on breast milk the whole time. Thankfully he was asymptomatic and was going about his day like nothing happened.
8. From joining the group and seeking help when most vulnerable, you went on to become the moderator on BSIM and now a Lactation Counsellor. How did that happen?
On the BSIM group, when I had some time on hand, I responded to queries basis my experience. Eventually I was asked to join the team as a peer counsellor and it did not take me a second to say YES! After a few months, I moved on to be the moderator on the group.
I am thankful to Adhunika and the team for giving me BSIM. It is through BSIM that I got the opportunity to be a Certified Lactation Consultant; giving me the confidence to change the lives of many who struggle in their breastfeeding journeys.
For me, it’s all about giving back to the community I wish I had during my difficult days.
9. Closing thoughts.
I want to pass on what I learnt from BSIM:
- Take it one day at a time
- Don’t make strong decisions on a bad day
