Soon to hit the 40 years milestone, Sangeetha Gopakumar still vividly remembers her breastfeeding journeys with her now 14 and 8 year olds. But before that, let’s get to know her a little.
In line with one of her early ambitions to have two degrees next to her name, Sangeetha is a BCom Graduate and a PG in HR. She got married immediately after her PG exams. Sangeetha was often referred to as “small sized constant” owing to her body frame and constant weight. At the time of her wedding, she was a mere 37 kgs, leading to jokes by people on how it appeared as a child marriage.
From there to her first pregnancy was a mixed bag of happiness and overcoming much insecurity that stemmed from her underweight, thyroid issues & spotting around the sixth month of her pregnancy. She said, “I waded through all of it with the love and support from my family and husband whose one big aim then was to feed me to build my weight. “
Sangeetha considers the birth of both her children as the most cherished moments of her life. She says, “Now, I am a happy homemaker with two kids. I love gardening, drawing and painting, which helps me maintain my inner peace!”
1. Taking you down memory lane to almost 15 years ago, Sangeetha, how prepared were you for breastfeeding?
I had seen my cousins breastfeed their children so did not think breastfeeding could be difficult. It just seemed like it would happen naturally. I also read up on some books during my pregnancy.
2. So, how was it in reality?
I had a natural birth with both my children. Just after the birth of my daughter, I had a hard time making her latch on to my breast and it was a bit challenging. Since she was finding it difficult, the doctor suggested we give her formula for some time till she learns to latch. Thankfully, we just had to give her 2 feeds of formula as every 2 hours a nurse, my mother or I would constantly try to latch her on. I guess she just gave up on us and decided to latch on.
For my second kid, initially, I had assumed that it would be easy with him given my experience with my daughter. But, I got my first reality check about each kid being different – they may have similar or newer ways and challenges! He too took a while to find his ways to latch but when he did he wasn’t sucking properly which led to sore nipples and bleeding. I had to use a nipple shield and only after a few days did we settle in.
But it was helpful that the doctors were supportive and constantly encouraged and helped us to fix our breastfeeding issues, thus helping to stop formula.
3. I am glad things eventually worked out with both the kids. Through their journeys, did you face any other challenges?
Apart from sore nipples with my son, I had experienced engorgement predominantly with my first kid. But the concerns had eventually settled down. There were times when they would sleep longer and I had to express due to pain.
Constant crying was the biggest challenge I had with my girl. For the initial few months, her crying was because of an ear infection, upset stomach or such conditioning issues, which we got to know from the pediatrician. Getting her to sleep during the night was an even bigger challenge. We had to take turns to cuddle and cradle her through the night! Out of the blue, suddenly she would wake up crying as if someone pinched her in her sleep! That definitely was a very tough phase and I could sail through only because of adequate support from my family. She stopped crying and got into a sleeping cycle just after two years.
My daughter breastfed for two full years while the younger one a little lesser as he took well to solids.
4. Myths around breastfeeding have been passed down through generations. Were you subjected to any?
Not much. During the first time, I was more cautious of my food intake because I was told about the impact of food on the baby through breastfeeding. However, the second time, I quickly moved back to my food preference.
I decided to wean my daughter after 2 years as she did not take well to solids with constant breastfeeding. In fact, my MIL asked me to extend breastfeeding even after two years! So I was actually not subjected to myths.
5. A lot of women struggle with no proper support in the form of healthcare or family. Tell us a little about your support system.
My hubby, with his caring ways, and my mother were my pillars of strength and support during my first pregnancy, and post-delivery. I was at my mother’s place and it was a boon to have had her take care of my girl and that helped me regain my health quickly.
My second birth was quite an eventful experience! With just a few hours / days before the onset of my labor, there was a death of a loved one and my parents had to travel immediately. This was followed by Cyclone Thane in Chennai. The morning after the cyclone, I woke up to a pain and had to rush to the hospital. Although my husband was with me, I was hassled, because my biggest moral support, my mom was not near me then. However, as a blessing in disguise, our dear friend Sri stood by me from that very moment and thereafter. My mom returned and together they helped me manage the kids, one schooling and the other a newborn.
6. Why do you think new mothers find it difficult to breastfeed? What has changed from then to now? What is your advice to them?
I believe that every mother should breastfeed her baby to ensure good health. I have also heard and believe that it strengthens the psychological bonding between the two. A soon-to-be-mom should read up and be informed about breast feeding to stay away from the myths.
