A post graduate from IIM Calcutta, Mrunmayee has been working with an IT firm for a decade now. She is passionate about her work and family and loves to plan trips and organize events. In her free time, she explores different restaurants, art work and places to travel. Wife to an always supportive partner, Amit, they have a 2.5 years old daughter, Pranmaya.
1. Mrunmayee, tell us about the days that lead up to Pranmaya’s birth.
It was quite a dramatic start. In June 2019, we were on a trekking outing when I felt this excruciating pain in the abdomen. Since we were in the planning-a-baby phase, we rushed to the doctor. The sonography showed a tubal pregnancy that had to be removed but the doctor was not convinced.
She recommended us to another radiologist where the sonography was to be repeated after 12 hours. Voila! No traces of a tubal pregnancy but the HCG levels were high. Another blood test a week later confirmed the pregnancy and a sonography two weeks later detected the baby’s cardiac activity.
Now that I was pregnant, it was business as usual – as for some pregnant women, up until 4 months. Due to a short cervix, a cervical cerclage was done and bedrest was ordered for the rest of the pregnancy. This was accompanied with Gestational Diabetes and strict diet restrictions.
My maternal grandmother and mother-in-law have been supportive of breastfeeding and suggested food items that could help me make enough milk for my baby.
2. Phew! Tell us about the birth and baby’s first latch.
On the D-day, my water broke at 2:30am and we rushed to the hospital to be told I was dilated only 2cm. Baby’s cardiac activity was being monitored continuously. Post 14 hours of induced labour and epidural, I was at 7cm dilation. Six hours later, the baby’s heartbeat dropped to 60 and I was wheeled in for a c-section.
Thankfully, I was aware and had spoke to my doctor regarding delayed cord clamping and skin to skin and breastfeeding within the golden hour. And I got it all. She was on me nursing like a pro giving me a taste of how our breastfeeding journey is going to be ahead.
3. Beautiful! Was it a sweet taste?
For the most of it, yes. Both the mothers were thrilled to hear the baby latched and drank tummy full. Back then, I did not understand the excitement around it. At the hospital, I struggled with oversupply – leaking and engorged breasts with unbearable pain. The Lactation Consultant offered me two approaches – hand express and regulate the supply OR pump and donate to the milk bank.
I made up my mind.
4. What was the decision?
To donate. Till Pranmaya turned 9 months, I pumped regularly and donated close to 10 litres of breast milk. With the milk that was not stored properly or could get spoilt, I made soaps and bathed her with it.
If she would take expressed milk, I would have considered it but she just refused.
5. This is amazing! Thank you for making a difference in so many lives. You mentioned that the journey wasn’t sweet a few times. Tell us more about it.
Honestly, there were times I really wanted to give up – colic, gas trouble, cluster feeds, sleepless nights, blisters, growth spurts, teething and most recently post the vaccination. Gosh, that list is basically saying I wanted to give up every 2 weeks, sigh!
If it weren’t for my husband, both mothers and maternal grandma, I would have actually given up. Every time she cried, they would tell me it is not for milk. Pranamya just needs to be held, loved and cared for and in between she may want to nurse for comfort.
I was fed for 2+ years, my husband and his siblings for 4 years and my mother and her siblings for 3-4 years. With such a strong force behind me, no roadblock was difficult to overcome.
I am also part of Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers (BSIM), a facebook group. The group has been a saviour when I needed the extra push.
6. Wow, a dream team indeed! So, does that mean you were not subjected to any myths or weaning advices?
Of course, I was. The society never stops in spite of the dream team behind me. I was asked to be on a restricted diet to prevent gas trouble in my baby; was told supply will decrease when I went back to work; left breast has thin milk and right has thick milk; stop nursing after baby turns 1; most importantly to not nurse in public … and I have forgotten the rest.
There was no way I was going to work on these advices. My husband and I were clear. We were going to let her nurse for however long she wanted and whenever we wean, it will be a gentle process.
7. So, how did the weaning eventually happen?
Pranamya dropped her day feeds to just 3 after she turned one. It was the 19 months growth spurt, in the pandemic, that hit us hard. It was getting difficult to manage all of it – home, work, continuous feeds and sleepless nights. But I spoke to you and felt motivated again.
I started talking to her about being grown up and how she needs to now reduce her feeds. Nothing changed. I felt I was crazy to be telling her all this. One day she surprised me. At 26 months, she asked for a song to sleep. Looks like she was soaking it all in and processing it all that time.
This went on for three straight days when it finally hit me that she has weaned. I cried myself to sleep.
